To worry my child will turn out bad

[brownpaperbag1]

I'm pregnant with my first child, which is due next year.

I know it probably sounds silly, but I feel intensely anxious over the fact that I'll be bringing an unknown person - a stranger effectively - into mine and DH's life. What if I just don't like the child and who they become?

What if despite my best efforts to bring them up, they turn out to be a rude and unlikable person or worse, cruel or a bully. What if they fall into the wrong crowd, choose the wrong path in life or deal drugs/commit crime when they grow up?

Does anyone else have these fears?

It will be a newborn baby completely dependent on you.
You cannot predict the future .
you can offer a nurturing environment and loveand aupportto a growing child teen adult...

but you can get help for your anxiety .... ask gp to refer for some CBT and mindfulness...learn what you have control over and what you dont.

I think I've had these thoughts in the past but now my LO is here I will try my damn best to help him make the right choices in life and I will raise him to be a descent respectable human being.... as parents what more can we do?

Thing is OP even if they're a right little turd you'll probably adore them anyway

Seriously though if these are more than passing thoughts but real anxieties that are hard to switch off, consider going to see your GP as prenatal depression is a thing and you may need some help managing it xx

Generally a person is made who they are more through nuture than nature. Certainly when it comes to being a nice or nasty person. The unpleasant children I have met have unpleasant parents or parents who rarely discipline/think their child can do no wrong. My children are a bit like me and a bit like DH with their own personality traits but they learned who to be by watching us and their family and friends. If they are surrounded by decent kind people that's who they will become. Obviously there are the odd exceptions to this but I'd say its a general rule.

You won't think of them as a stranger when they arrive. You'll think of them as part of you. Then the personality develops so slowly you just accept every quirk. Honestly dont worry.

But equally what if they turn out lovely and kind? What if they are successful in school, college, uni and work?
There's alot of what if's.
It will be your baby, then toddler, child, teenager and then adult. You can only love and guide them and be there for them to hopefully pave the way for them to be a nice, well rounded human being.

If they are surrounded by decent kind people that's who they will become. Obviously there are the odd exceptions to this but I'd say its a general rule.

Thanks - that's what I'm hoping.