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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make DH take our DD to her Gymnastics Competition

39 replies

chellochello · 26/09/2019 13:25

DD has a gymnastics competition this Sunday morning - it's scheduled to last 3 hours but I know from past experience it will be at least 4.

I would quite like to be there to support DD however I find these events incredibly boring - she will actually spend probably less than 10 mins actually performing and the rest of it will be watching other peoples kids and waiting for them to do the scores / presentation

Would it be unreasonable to say its DH's turn as I did that last one and stay at home in bed??

OP posts:

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 26/09/2019 13:31

What if she wins?

6 months ago dh took dd to a national level competition (not for gym - different sport.). I would have liked to go but it would have been a miserable long day for little ds (they were out of the house for 10 hours - less than 4 minutes worth of the time was spent competing.)

She went and fucking won. My dd became a national champion and I wasn’t there. It was the right thing - it really wasn’t fair to drag ds along but it really really hurts that I missed it.

Lockheart · 26/09/2019 13:32

Why can't you both go and just take books or something?

Blanca87 · 26/09/2019 13:36

Of course! If both of you can't go, then taking turns seems fair. Your DH has just as much a responsibility to take her as you do.

Original poster

chellochello · 26/09/2019 13:47

@Mumoftwoyoungkids - that's my worry i'd hate to miss out on her winning anything but it just seems like such a waste of a day!

@Lockheart - that could be the way to go!

OP posts:

ShippingNews · 26/09/2019 13:48

No doubt your DD finds it boring too, all that waiting around. But she doesn't have a choice. Personally I'd go - as PP said above, your daughter might do really well, get an award, and if you're home in bed and find out later, you'll feel like shit for years. Even if she doesn't get an award, she'll be doing her best and you'll be home in bed....and she'll know it.

You should go and take a book or an iPad or something. Things like this mean a lot to kids and if you show that you can't be bothered it will hurt .

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 26/09/2019 13:52

Dd swims I take my marking, download something to watch on my ipad and/or an audio book on my phone. Galas can be 8:30-6 both weekend days she competes for about 3 mins total

Streamingbannersofdawn · 26/09/2019 13:52

Why do they do all that waiting around? What do the children not performing do with themselves?

I think taking it in turns is fair...but if she wins you'll kick yourself.

Original poster

chellochello · 26/09/2019 14:04

@Streamingbannersofdawn - They just sit around as well but she's with friends so doesn't mind

OP posts:

BigChocFrenzy · 26/09/2019 14:07

EIther you both go every time, or you take it in turns

he has to step up and do his share of parenting

CroissantsAtDawn · 26/09/2019 14:07

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

Are they open galas or team galas?

If open galas, can't you just sign her up for a few more races? My mum used to do that for me, just to break up the huge lengths of time not swimming. She was careful with times of the races I actually wanted to do well in but would throw in some extra ones just for fun.

My mum used to crochet whilst watching/waiting for me swimming. And cross-stitch. And read. And.....

Streamingbannersofdawn · 26/09/2019 14:07

Sounds hideous...but if they are with friends and it's what they are into I suppose.

AryaStarkWolf · 26/09/2019 14:08

That sounds like Karate competitions my son goes to, me and DH both usually go, eventhough they can go on and be a bit boring, neither of us want to miss watching him

Hotchox · 26/09/2019 14:13

You're saying it's a waste of a day but want to spend it in bed. Well, ok then.

Take something to occupy yourself with when she's not competing, or just, y'know, watch the other kids having a go and give them a clap when they're done, since they'll have been working on their routines for ages and will rightly feel proud of their achievements.

Lovethetimeyouhave · 26/09/2019 15:45

I couldn't not go!

Ds has done a few competitions and I've been to every one! He has his first grading coming up soon and I'll be going!

Nottobesoldseparately · 26/09/2019 15:48

Can you not both go, watch DD, then leave the arena and go do something in the surrounding area?

RatherBeAScummerThanASkate · 26/09/2019 15:48

Take Crochet - I have a blanket that’s only made waiting for gym/swimming/football/school assemblys I can watch and crochet at the same time so a productive use of time

purpleboy · 26/09/2019 15:53

Couldn't even imagine not supporting dd in something she loves. I'd be worried you feel a day watching your dd is a waste but staying in bed isn't

headinhands · 26/09/2019 16:03

I'd be worried you feel a day watching your dd is a waste but staying in bed

You'd be worried? Best log this post with ss then.

(Do you feel worried that the dad isn't going every week? Thought not)

BumbleBeee69 · 26/09/2019 16:08

YANBU... Let Daddy take her and thencelebrate her potential 'win' when she gets home to the people that really matter. Enjoy your lay in OP.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 26/09/2019 16:18

Couldn't even imagine not supporting dd in something she loves.

It probably depends how often she is competing though.

My dd competes in three different sports. This term there are 10 competition type things that I can think of. (May be some more that I’ve missed.) Last term was worse with 12 that I can think of off the top of my head. Add to that the fact that to get to be able to compete in 3 sports take quite a lot of training sessions. 8 per week at last count.

Neither me nor Dh have been to everything.

It isn’t fair on ds to drag him along to everything. Plus at some point or other we have to do things like washing. And we are all shattered from it all.

We both want to support dd in everything she does. (She is terrifyingly awesome.) But ds deserves a life that isn’t constantly on the sidelines. And dh and I both need some time where we are not constantly on the go. We can only sustain dd’s timetable by both of us being healthy. If one of us breaks then dd will not be able to do everything she loves to do.

Original poster

chellochello · 26/09/2019 16:25

Well I wasn't planning on spending the whole time in bed - just not getting gup at half 7 on my only day off and having a bit of a lie in.

I've never missed an performance or competition for either her dancing or gymnastics before - I was just wondering if this was her dads time to go (he does come from time to time to but is often at work so can't make them all

OP posts:

IAmMyOwnPerson · 26/09/2019 16:25

@chellochello but it just seems like such a waste of a day!

Seriously? And lying in bed isn't?
Take a book! 🙄

IAmMyOwnPerson · 26/09/2019 16:26

And both of you should go if your free!

yetanothernane · 26/09/2019 16:32

Slightly depends how old she is as well.... If she's very young then yes go, if she s 13+ she may think of you as excruciatingly embarrassing and may not want you to ;)

Either a) you both go, one stays in the hall whilst the other has a nice breaky/coffee and reads etc. Then the other does the same. The one who is in the room let's the other person know when it's time her to compete and you can both watch her tomgether. I'm assuming you have a rough idea when it will be her turn.

Option b) your partner goes this time and records the performance/medals etc and then you go next time.

Ringdonna · 26/09/2019 16:41

Your job I am afraid OP

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