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AIBU?

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To think the school could do more (bullying)?

4 replies

concernedforthefuture · 26/09/2019 13:21

Well perhaps 'bullying' is a bit strong but here we go. DD is 8 and is not getting on with a particular girl in her class (let's call her Anna).
The bottom line is that Anna doesn't like it when DD plays with the other girls in the class and has, in the past at least, been mean to DD (typical young girls being mean: name calling, face pulling, standing on her foot 'accidentally on purpose'). School acknowledged that this was happening last year and encouraged the girls to be 'nice to each other and share their friends' but the problem is ongoing (for over a year now) and DD is now at the stage where she doesn't want to go to school each morning.

I went and spoke to the leadership team last week but was told that Anna and her parents have already been to see them to complain that DD is doing the exact same things that DD has told me that Anna keeps doing to her, and that 'there is obviously a personality clash and they're just going to have to get on with it'. DD isn't perfect, but I do believe her when she says that Anna just starts being mean out of nowhere. She just looks so sad all the time and says that she won't play with anyone at playtime now in case Anna hurts her. I understand that for the school to deal with it when both parties are blaming each other must be hard but I don't know what to do next. DD's school work is suffering too (partly because, she says, Anna is nasty to her if she beats her in a test / finishes her work first etc. so she's stopped trying hard).
Where do I go from here to get more support from school? DD used to be a bright and happy little girl that enjoyed and did well at school but now hates it.

OP posts:
Justtryinghere · 26/09/2019 13:28

Is there more than one class in her Year group? Could you approach the school about a managed move?

KittyVonCatsington · 26/09/2019 13:40

The teachers and TAs need to be doing more to keep these two apart more. If the school will not do a managed move, I would still recommend being explicit at how your DD is being affected by this and starting to be a school refuser. This will help them move on from just being a 'personality clash' to a an issue that needs to support your DD more.
In the meantime, do keep talking and listening to your DD. You may also find that conversations you have, help to equip her with coping mechanisms to get her through the day.

concernedforthefuture · 26/09/2019 16:27

@Justtryinghere Sadly not, it's a single form entry so no option to move classes.

OP posts:
concernedforthefuture · 26/09/2019 16:30

Thanks @KittyVonCatsington . We are using 'mindfulness' resources at home to build up her confidence etc and I'll speak to her teacher about making sure the girls aren't alone during unstructured class time. DD says she's quite happy to work and play as part of a group with Anna and she doesn't understand where all the nastiness comes from, but I think it best if she avoids being near her for now.

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