I’m not sure where to start really. My childhood sweetheart who has been in and out of my life for 28 years is now in heaven. At the age of 37 depression won. I’ve not gone to work today instead I stayed up all night drinking vodka. It’s 6 days till his funeral and I don’t know how to deal with never seeing or speaking to him again so how do I deal with saying goodbye when I’m not ready? I just want to see his face smiling one last time. I’m so devastated and heartbroken