To think I'm missing out on the big O

[theunknownx]

Me and my bf have been together 8 years. Our sex life is still very active even after having 2 kids we more or less have it every day.

But.... I've never actually had an orgasm during sex, I've only ever been with him and I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Am I missing out on something? Or is an orgasm during sex over rated?

God I feel like a numpty posting this on here 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I do obviously make small noise during sex but definitely don't orgasm

Oh lovely. No it's not normal at all - well, it's only normal for women who tolerate it. He doesn't sound like he gives a shit about your pleasure at all, and i would be questioning the entire relationship if it were me. As I say, I've been in a relationship where I enjoyed sex but rarely got to orgasm during it, and I've since been in relationships where it's normal to ensure that you both come, and I'm not looking back!!

I think you need an honest and Frank discussion with him. You don't come very often, it's not due to a fault in your body (it's easier on their ego for men to believe that women just don't come much instead of facing up to the fact that what they're doing isn't hitting the spot for you) and you'd like sex to involve more focus on making sure you both orgasm. Ask for oral or fingers as foreplay, ask for it for longer, ask for it during, and if he comes and rolls off try saying "hey, time for mine now!" and putting his hand on your pussy. You might also try exploring something like OMGyes together.

You've posted on another thread about how abusive he is OP, so rather than trying to improve your sex life I think you'd be better served getting some support to leave this relationship.

Ah. This rather changes things.

I only can when on top

It wasnt until I'd left my ex that I realised I wasnt the problem in my sex life.

My situation may be different to yours but I was coerced alot and consequently never really wanted to do it. Faked alot of orgasms just to get him off me...

Wasn't until I left that I realised the reasons why and that I'd just put up with him being shit all round.

I've had a lot of good sex since then. I rarely orgasm with PIV but OH is damn good at making sure I do in other ways.

I think it also depends on how much importance you place on sex. For some it will be quite an important aspect, for others not so much.

I don’t understand. Maybe I missed it further up the thread. But why aren’t you telling him what you want? You want more foreplay? Get him told. You want more oral? Get him told. Take responsibility for your orgasm. I could only orgasm on top - so guess what? - I always made sure I was on top at some point.
Sex is for both of you, not just him.