Dp asleep with earplugs in

[Scaredmama1]

Now I'm all too aware of the competative tiredness state that can evovle with a new(ish) baby but I feel that this might be taking the proverbial.
Ds 4 months had d&v night before last and also seems to be full of cold. I have had no sleep night before as was up changing 4 horrendous nappies and trying to feed and comfort ds and then took him downstairs at 5am yesterday and have seen to him again all night last night. Thought it was funny dp hasn't stirred once despite the screaming, sun has come up this morning and he's only got ear plugs in! Still sleeping blissfully now. I am breast feeding but I didn't realise that meant I was 100% responsible.for all night wakings. He is working a night shift tonight so maybe iabu to expect some help over night.
Helpful people in my phone please tell me aibu before I bring this up with him.

I actually think it's a good idea but agree scheduling before bedtime. I did all night stuff between 12-7 apart from weekends. Depends what works for you

And there isn't a lot of point-him getting up when you are BF

You want him to be awake even though it's only you who can feed baby? Sorry, YABU especially as your DH is working a night shift later.

No, yanbu to expect some help with a sick baby when you've been left to get on with it for 2 nights straight!

Only she can feed the baby but anyone can do a nappy, comfort and soothe the baby, fetch mum some water etc etc. I think you need to talk to your dh and agree expectations of who does what overnight. My dh would, if he wasnt working, get up, change nappy, get baby swaddled again and bring him to me for a feed whenever baby woke in the night. If he was working the next day, he'd do that up until about 10pm then I'd manage until about 5am, where dh would get up and do nappy, pass him to me for a feed before getting ready for work. The point is we talked about it, agreed what was going to happen, barring the baby being unwell or me being very Ill for whatever reason. Talking about it helped to avoid resentment on both sides.

Sometimes ds is waking for nappy changing and he doesn't want feeding as he's only been asleep 20-30 mins. He fell asleep mid nappy change at one point over night as he is so tired. Maybe iabu and just need to get on with it👍 thanks for the perspective

He could help out with nappy changes in the night, that isn’t too much to ask

I had BFed babies with little interest in bottles, so naturally I did the night feeds. But if we hit a phase such as illness, DH did get involved in the additional care that didn't involve feeds. It was a short time, he had better chance to catch up on the tiredness.

Sleeping with ear plugs is not unnecessarily unreasonable if there is consultation and a very important reason to need an adequate amount of sleep (long drive, hazardous job...) but to just quietly stick ear plugs in and let your wife crack on with full care for a sick baby overnight is unreasonable.

I bf mine in bed (yes, I know) and DH brought them to me and changed them, too. He was also on vom duty because dealing with it made me heave, too.

There's lots the father of a bf baby can do in the night! Night shifts do complicate things a bit, though.

I bf mine in bed (yes, I know

What's wrong with that? Where else would you bf in the middle of the night?

Personally OP i think you are BU - he's working and needs rest. Don't begrudge him that.

To be honest I would have thought if he is working a night shift tonight it would have made more sense or him to be up in the night so that he can sleep during the day to get ready for working through the night. Or is he going to down tools today saying he is working tonight so needs some rest?

I used to wake my DH up and tell him to take over when the baby was awake but not hungry just unsettled. So that I could get some sleep. He'd do that, then wake me back up if baby still not asleep and then go to work.

It's a tricky time, the only things I can say is to ask for help from him and to keep talking. It will get easier.

Depends really wouldnt he have to sleep more during today if hes working rather than last night

TBH I do all night wakings as I am breastfeeding, both while on mat leave and now I am back at work. It's unfair, but there's not much to be done about it. If/when we sleep train we'll share the wakings. I'd be talking to your DH about taking the baby first thing in the morning so you can get a lie in.

I did the night wakings in the week when I was on mat leave and DH was working (he did wear earplugs) but he'd do them on a Friday and Saturday to give me a break. If either of the DCs were ill though we'd both pitch in, weeknight or not.

My DS is 5 months old now and hasn't woken to feed at night since approx 3 months old. He has started fussing a little a couple times in the night because he rolls over and can't get back so DH settles him. I have to care for the baby all day so it's not a lot to ask and doesn't take long at all.

I would definitely bring it up, your DP should help with what he can.

Have you tried the Calpol plug in? They are great when little one have a cold, also tilt the head of the cot, and give Calpol or ibuprofen before bed to make them comfortable. It's horrible for babies when they have a cold and can't breathe. Hope you get a better night sleep tonight.

Without the ear plugs he'd stir every time including those when ds just wants fed. The plugs are a good idea, just wake dh when it's a nappy change situ and day your turn 💁🏼‍♀️