We have three year old twins who are both autistic, non verbal, one has other disabilities as well. I have been doing my best in difficult circumstances since they were born (DT2 was very unwell from birth and my health has been impacted since the pregnancy too).
I’ve definitely relied too much on CBeebies to keep them entertained, especially DT2 who lost all interest in toys / play when he was 18 months old and has no ability to focus on anything except the TV. DT1 is very bright and uses iPad maths and English games often (things like matching colours and shapes, sorting letters into words, words into sentences, etc).
I have done everything I can for them - referred ourselves to SALT and portage, carried on that work at home daily, pushed for paeds referrals that led to them both being diagnosed at 2, applied for DLA, blue badges, got them into nursery, initiated the EHCP process when nursery didn’t bother, applied for homestart etc etc. Just quit my very part time job as I’m not able to manage it on top of everything else.
DH has been reading a lot of pseudoscience websites about “virtual autism” and thinks that if we completely cut out screens for them they’ll learn to talk and improve their social skills. I think that’s a massive over simplification and although I do agree that less screen time would benefit them, it seems a bit extreme and a bit mean to remove the only thing that DT2 in particular engages with. I understand the hope is that he will then engage with toys and with us but I’m unsure how realistic that is.
It’s been two days and I’m slowly going mad. Over the last two days I’ve read the three books they like over 50 times. I’ve sung the nursery rhymes they like countless times. I’ve tried every age appropriate game in a book of games for autistic kids. They’re interested in none. I’ve tried colouring with crayons (tried to eat the crayons), tried playdoh (tried to eat the playdoh). Spent half an hour on the swings in the garden multiple times whenever it’s not raining. Tried everything I can think of, it fails quickly and then we do... nothing.
DT1 is playing with an old baby walker where you press a button and it lights up and plays a tune. Over and over again. Can’t see how this is better for him than playing the games on the iPad to be honest!
I woke up this morning dreading the day ahead. Then realised they’re going to nursery this morning and felt relieved, which makes me feel terrible.
Everyone I know who’s done this has kids who will engage in pretend play, could get involved in baking a cake or go on a trip to the shops etc, none of which is possible with my two. So WTF do we actually do all day?
To be honest they’re coping better with it than I am! We’ve had a few tantrums but nothing out of the ordinary. DT2 has recently started pointing so we’ve had some pointing at the TV, and DT1 keeps pushing me over to the shelf where the remote is.
I feel like such a shitty parent for being at the stage where I can’t cope with a day with my kids without relying on the TV. Just the lack of background noise is driving me crackers.
How many people with toddlers have no screens at all and how do you cope? I realise any suggestions may not work for us because of the ASD but maybe people have some idea.