Horrifying report re Bangladesh Child Prostitutes - AIBU to feel shocked this is still happening?

[Defenbaker]

This evening while driving home I caught the tail end of a programme on Radio 4, which reported on a legalised Brothel in Bangladesh. Many of the women working there were forced into it by their families, when they were children (even though the minimum legal age is 18, apparently). The conditions are dirty and squalid, and apparently men can buy sex for the equivalent of around £2, which includes a meal. As if all that wasn't awful enough, one young girl who got rescued by a charitable organisation told this story of her friend, who got left behind.

The girl was forced into a room in the brothel by her mother, who then let a man into the room and she was trapped. After he'd done what he wanted to her, she hanged herself. She was just 9 years old.

I can't find the words to describe how shocked and horrified I felt when I heard that story. How can this be happening in the 21st century?!? How could any mother do that to her child? The fact that this is a legalised brothel makes it worse, as it appears that the state is turning a blind eye to paedophiles raping children.

I know that every country has cultural differences concerning the age of consent, etc, and there are still many parts of the world where women are treated as second class citizens/possessions, but AIBU to post this here for traffic, and to ask for your suggestions on how to stop this hellish situation? (I know there is no easy solution, but maybe someone could suggest the best charity to support, or ways to bring pressure to bear on the Bangladesh authorities who allow this to happen.)

I'm a bit surprised that no one has responded to this thread, but bumping it as maybe not many saw it due to the time it was posted. Or maybe no one wants to engage on such a disturbing topic, in which case MN can delete it.

Sorry but I think this sort of thing happens in many countries, poor people have children they cannot afford so this is what happens. You only have to read about sex tourism in Thailand and other similar countries.

However, We all recall the child grooming gangs in the U.K., many of the men are now in prison, but I have read this still continues

Appalling but unsurprising.

Behind that girl's story is likely a feckless father and 8 starving brothers and sisters.

Sadly - I've heard far far worse than this. What is it you want us to do about it though? Im pretty sure everyone will be shocked and horrified as you are.

I’m surprised anyone is surprised to be honest. Kids are organised to be raped in this country and we have awareness and strict laws, when the infrastructure isn’t there it’s not hard to imagine. I can’t say what I want about mother’s who do this to their kids because suddenly I’m part of the problem but I do believe it’s about doing what you know. Can’t imagine a mother selling her 8 year old had a well adjusted upbringing.

Save the Children do a lot of work with vulnerable children in Bangladesh, including children of sex workers (who are more vulnerable to being forced into sex work themselves). I don't know of a charity that works directly to tackle the child brothels though I expect one exists within Bangladesh itself. www.savethechildren.org.uk/where-we-work/asia/bangladesh

YANU, OP. It is a truly horrendous problem on a fairly sizeable scale in Bangladesh. And while it does go on in lots of other countries - including this one - that's no reason to belittle your horror. It is horrifying.

poor people have children they cannot afford

WOMEN living in squalid conditions in countries allowing their wholesale exploitation from childhood often don't have access to contraception. They get abused, exploited, raped and they get pregnant as a result. There is an awful cycle of abuse. Of course the countries allowing such horrors have blood on their hands, not just the mother who locked up her child with an abuser.

It is horrifying and in a world where there is advancement and education it shouldn't be happening. Unfortunately for poorer families in these countries, education and contraception is very limited which is part of the reason. Also government is hugely corrupt too. I think the answer is education and contraception but this is so hard to implement. A friend of mine worked for a bank which donated computers and facilites for a poor country for girls, and the militants came and smashed it up as they do not wish for young girls to be educated, as this gives them options and power. Life is very hard in richer countries for some so let alone how it is in poorer countries. I honestly think there is only so much money can do, it is about changing mindsets and more rights and respect for girls.

It’s horrific but something stuck with me from the drama starring Maxine Peak about the Rotherham grooming scandal.
Her character said ( I’m paraphrasing) “ there’s no such thing as a child prostitute, it’s a child being sexually abused”.
I don’t think we should use the word Prostitute to describe children, if we do we suggest they are somehow complicit in it.

It happens in lots of countries sadly. Women used and abused by their husbands or raped by any man on the street. Lack on contraception or not being allowed to use it leading to family’s who cannot feed the mouths. Families feeling forced into this to survive. Men causing problems for women and men then getting the sick use out of desperate women and girls again.

The mother makes that choice because the alternative is that child and her other children starving , possibly to death.
They are not evil mothers they just need other options.

I have just seen the article on the BBC . It is sickening .

It is sad OP when you first realise that there is an awful world out there.

Many people go on to volunteer and try to help first hand if they can maybe you could look into doing something procactive to help those less fortunate somehow.

it is really terrible, and we have people advocating for legalising prostitution in this country
they should read about this

I saw a documentary a few years ago ( Stacey Dooley from memory ) where mother's from Thailand were going online and showing off their own children to western men who would then fly out to rape the young children in hotels / house rentals paying the mothers to allow them to pass over these poor children.

I heard a brief report on the radio this morning and they mentioned a shelter for the children, we could support that

@StillWeRise Prostitution is legal in England. It is the things around it that are illegal.

It’s heartbreaking, obviously I don’t know what the mothers are going through. I just can’t fathom how any mother could let their get raped, that poor nine year old girl. The one person who was meant to always protect betrayed her, in the most horrible way.

It’s horrifying and shocking.
It’s actually terrifying how many men there are in the world that will rape young children.

It's the KKS safe home, which is supported by Save the Children, but I can't find a way to donate directly to the safe house

I'm surprised you are surprised. This sort of thing happens all over the world, even here in the UK.

Prostitutes often don’t have any choice but to sell their daughters to keep their sons in education (sons often are only allowed to stay with their mothers by brothel owners if the women have daughters - and sons ability to earn is often what gets the entire family off the game). You also need to remember that in Bangladesh while the age of consent is 14 it is also illegal to have sex earlier - so both the child and the attacker can be prosecuted and often are even in cases of rapes. To add to the confusion, due to various interpretations of sha’ria law, girls are often married off by 9-12 years old (either permanently
Or in ‘one night’ prostitute marriages to make the use of prostitutes religiously acceptable). These marriages while illegal are considered socially and religiously acceptable and are probably the biggest reason why Bangla police do not go after attackers.

Bangladesh needs to get tougher on child sex abuse, end of, whether it is called child ‘marriage’, rape, abuse or prostitution. But there needs to be a willingness to act by the authorities / media (as there is in India and Pakistan) and that social change just hasn’t happened yet

@Hoppinggreen -- that's a valid point, I agree. With hindsight maybe I could have chosen a better choice of words, such as Children abused in Bangladesh Brothel. Perhaps MN could alter the thread title if they feel it somehow implies that the children are doing this of their own volition.

@TantricTwist - it's not that I have only just realised how awful this world can be, but I tend to focus mostly on the UK news. This radio programme came on when I was driving, and just caught my attention. The fact that a 9 year old was raped, then took her own life as the only way to avoid more of the same, just shocked me to the core. At 9 years old I had no clue what sex was, and all I had to worry about was getting to school on time, and whether I had enough pocket money to buy a few sweets on the way home.

Thanks to all of you for your comments. I will do some online research about the work of Save the Children, and other charities, then donate to a charity that works in this area. I feel grateful to have been born and raised in a country where I did not have to endure this type of horror, or any real physical hardship. Sometimes we don't realise how lucky we are, but that radio programme made me realise I've had a brilliant life, in comparison to some.

Women and girls are seen as saleable commodities the world over, including in this country.
Some men not giving a shit where they stick it is not surprising to me sadly.
Do some good research on which charity you want to give to because even men working for charities are ok with exploiting women and children for their own egos and sexual gratification.
Avoid Oxfam and I think save the children was another one involved.

This is why women fight to keep the age of consent, human rights and the welfare state. Anywhere women don't have rights enshrined in law, they suffer.
It doesn't just happen abroad. Child marriage is an issue in the US, and child sex trafficking happens across Europe and the US.