To feel unfairly treated by another mother

[kmini]

I know this is small world stuff, but am I wrong to feel a bit rubbish about all this or am I just being over sensitive and should get used to it.

There is a mother at school who is a super social organiser - obviously a wonderful thing overall and more than once I have been grateful for her organising things so that I can get to know other mothers.These have always been class wide invitations.

There is a ladies lunch next month at my son's school. However this mum has gone ahead before the lunch details were even announced and invited lots of mums to be on her table. She has picked a selection of mums from nursery and reception (and probably Grade 1 and 2). Its a small school (only 14 in my sons year) and there is only a couple of mum's left that i know could attend left.

I feel its quite inconsiderate to cherry pick amongst the mums. I feel like i'm back at high school and not been invited to go to one of the cool girl parties . Would be interested to know how this has made other people feel and how they dealt with it.

Wowser, can't believe all these responses. Appreciate all your thoughts. Will try to cover all of your questions.

So it's a school fundraiser that happens during the day. A bit of an event that's just for ladies, but I'm sure a Dad could come. This is a rural private school so it's fair to say it's a bit old school as there is predominantly mums at pick up or rather mums are generally the stay at home ones. The school has lots of social events, but the only one that is similar to this is the school ball. In both situations the organiser just leave it up to the attendees to organise the tables. I'm sure I'm not the 1st person to feel a bit miffed by the process!!

So it's fair to say it's totally within in her prerogative to organise a table herself.

To describe the mum she's surpremely confident - very assured of her position as a bit of social queen of sorts - she knows everyone in the junior school because she has 3 children at the school and she works the carpark morning and afternoon. I'm impressed with her dedication - I certainly am not that good at cultivating friendships! She does have a history of causing fracas apparently but I've only heard this from one other mum, who was in the middle of one of these upsets. She's wary of her after all this.

In terms of the actual details of the lunch. The mum in question must have organised the table the week before the announcement came out. Another mum from nursery has tried to organise a table amongst the nursery - but there were next to no takers, as all the mums left were either working, teachers at the school, have tiny ones or had already been asked to be on this table in question. I'm guessing there are probably two other mums apart from myself in reception who weren't asked. One is not liked by the mum in question apparently.

There is very active WhatsApp group for reception and nursery and she's been a regular organiser on this. As I said I've been very appreciative of of couple of the things that had been organised.

Last year I actually sat on this mums table at the same lunch but it was touted as a nursery table and not this mums table. It was a mixture of mums from different years of the junior school. However apparently this mum had caused issues when she organised her own table another year.

I suppose it just threw me for six a little. I'd never felt like I was on the outer but not did I feel like I hadn't been included in the past.

Gosh long post. Sorry for the TMI

I honestly think that having kids shouldn't change you. You have your life, your network, your group of friends. When your kids start school, you come across other parents with kids of similar age. You might click with some of them and become good friends, or you might not. It really shouldn't matter. If you are not bothered, you won't even notice the drama.