I’ve name changed for this as It’s very outing.
I am a single mum and I have a 15 year old son, I have brought him up on my own with little to no involvement from his father, including no maintenance. His father has always been inconsistent and has come and gone when it suits him. Recently in the last 2 years when he started becoming more involved. My son has always lived with me and has visited his dad house and stays over on the weekends.
Me and his dad have never got on as there has been domestic violence from him to me and I have a non molestation order against him and he isn't allowed to contact me, he is also on a suspended sentence for threats he made against me infront of the police. My son still wants to see his dad though and that is his choice but over the years his dad has been trying to manipulate him (he was also very manipulating and controlling to me) his dad has a lot of debts and has admitted that he wants to claim benefits for my son to pay them off. I only get child benefit but my ex has told my son that that isn't true.
6 months ago I received a letter from cb which stated that they would be stopping my cb as my ex had claimed my son lives with him. I was shocked. I contacted cb and had to send in proof that my son lived with me. I sent in lots of proof including the court order that I have which states my son resides with me. Due to this it went in my favour and that was that, or so I thought. I also contacted the school around that time to make them aware of what my ex had been doing just in case he has tried to contact the school. I found out that the school had changed my sons address
to his dads as he had called them and told them that my son now lives with him and the school just changed it without ever speaking to me! This is a man that has never had any dealings with the school and isn’t even on my sons bc so I couldn’t believe that the school would do that. I told the school that they needed to change it back as it isn’t true and I even brought the court papers I had and the non molestion order down to the school for them to see. I then got a letter from cb that said my ex had appealed the cb decision and I was asked again to send more proof, which I did. Ive since had a letter from cb which states they have now awarded my ex cb as they believe him to be the resident parent due to him sending in a letter from the school stating my son lives with him!
My son has never lived with his dad, the school doesnt see where my son goes after he leaves school, I pay for all his school lunches and I have all dealing with the school, I can’t understand why they’ve wrote my ex a letter especially after everything I’ve told them, at first they denied even writing the letter. I have spoke to the school but they are now refusing to get involved and are saying that they wrote the letter because that's what my ex has told them. They said that as I have the court papers that should over rule any letter they have wrote but it clearly hasn't and now they are saying they will be staying out of it. I just need some advice on where I can go from here? My son has always been desperate for a relationship with his dad and is saying that he wants to live between us 50/50 but my ex still wants the benefits for him (And will probably claim cm which is something he has never paid me!) my son spends most of the time at my house and even spent the whole 6 weeks here not even seeing his dad but I know he is scared of going against him.