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AIBU?

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AIBU to worry

1 reply

wingsandstrings · 24/09/2019 20:10

DD Yr 5 has close group of friends at school as well as generally getting on well with most of her class. Her teachers in the past have described her as 'popular' and 'maintains friendships well' came up in her report. However she is very physical, she loves games that involve running or practicing gymnastics etc. Increasingly her friends only want to do make-believe games. DD is really torn, she says that she just doesn't enjoy the games at all and is desperate to run about. But, her friends get upset with her when she doesn't play with them, and also she is conscious that if she continues to not play with them she is opting out of a long standing and close friendship group. She is a confident and determined child, but it's a dilemma. There don't seem to be other girls in the class that want to be physical at break and lunch. I am unhelpfully letting my mind wander to all sorts of scenarios where she becomes more and more out of step with her female peers, looses her friends with whom she finds it hard to conform, never meets similar girls and becomes an outcast in Secondary, is unhappy and insecure forever and ever.. . . . . Have any of you had unusually physical/sporty girls who went through a phase of wanting different things from their peers at about 9/10? How has the worked out?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 24/09/2019 23:45

I think the more friends a person has the better.
I think she'd be daft to spend her free time doing things she doesn't want to do, just because other people she made friends with when they were younger are 'in to' things she isn't.
You make friends - as dc and as adults - through shared interests. Your dd should get out there and do what she enjoys and she will find other like minded people doing the same.
Why does it have to be girls she plays with ? Why not join in games with those who lke doing what she is doing, whatever sex she is ? She might well find others want to do this too but perhaps haven't the confidence.

When it comes to secondary, many, many dc move around different friendship groups. The LAST thing you;d want her to do as a teen is "conform" to something "the cool kids" are doing that she doesn't want to do, surely ?
Encourage her to make her own choices and have confidence in her decisions.

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