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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby shower shenanigans

28 replies

Jellybeans101 · 24/09/2019 19:05

So...

Really need to see if I’m being unreasonable here:
Me and my mum are super close and we have been planning my baby shower she’s asked her friends (which I’m ok with) however she’s also asking me to extend the invitations to friends sons girlfriends who I have never clapped eyes on I have said - this is a bit much and I’m not going to do that.

She’s called me ‘selfish, awkward, petty’ everything.

AMIBU or what? Shock

OP posts:
Gazelda · 24/09/2019 19:14

YANBU.
Surely the number of guests invited is limited by the venue size? Are you hiring a big hall?

Original poster
Jellybeans101 · 24/09/2019 19:17

@Gazelda no just a small tea room.. I was keeping it intimate close family and friends.
I don’t think her friends sons girlfriends fit into that category Shock

OP posts:
FrownPrincess · 24/09/2019 19:35

YADNBU

Why would you invite people you don’t know? And who on earth wants to go to a stranger’s baby shower ?

LagunaBubbles · 24/09/2019 19:37

That's bonkers! Yanbu.

Original poster
Jellybeans101 · 24/09/2019 19:39

@FrownPrincess that’s what I said!!!

OP posts:
BossAssBitch · 24/09/2019 19:41

I very much doubt two women you don’t know will want to come to your baby shower Grin I don’t even like going to baby showers of people I know, not my idea of fun, I just go out of obligation, so I really wouldn’t worry about it. In any case, its up to you who you invite so your mum needs to back off

Justgivemesomepeace · 24/09/2019 19:42

Would friends sons girlfriend want to fork out for a gift? I thought that was the point of a baby shower?

Original poster
Jellybeans101 · 24/09/2019 19:55

@BossAssBitch same!! I absolutely think they are dull and wouldn’t want to subject a stranger to it!

@justgivemesomepeace I’m not exactly doing it for gifts more for a celebration of my first dc gifts are optional always

OP posts:
MissPepper8 · 24/09/2019 19:56

No.. YANBU

Friends of hers I see that as ok, my mums friends came to my wedding and I knew them anyway. I wouldn't mind them coming to a shower but she wouldn't invite them as it's a close family and friends thing.

It's a bit of a strange reaction.

timonhoudini · 24/09/2019 20:00

What a strange way to react... no offence but that's very weird, if my mum tried to force me to do this I would tell her not to bother coming herself! Your baby, your shower, your rules 🤷‍♀️

Boots20 · 24/09/2019 20:06

Is this your mums first grandchild? Maybe it's more about that & about her own celebration & who she wants to be there? I'm with you on this I wouldnt want strangers at my baby shower and it's a celebration of your pregnancy so this day is about you x

zxcvhjkl · 24/09/2019 20:11

YANBU

Your mother sounds way too much to deal with. Has she also invited the milkmans sisters next door neighbours daughter?

Keep it to who you want to be there and ignore her comments. She will get over it soon enough.

messolini9 · 24/09/2019 20:16

She’s called me ‘selfish, awkward, petty’ everything.

Gordon Bennett.
Tell her your pregnancy isn't about her, or her friend's son's girlfriend, & cancel the shower.

It is really, really, bitchy to take over like this for some kind of personal gratification, & then berate you for not wanting her agenda.

squashyhat · 24/09/2019 20:21

I have nothing useful to offer, but I do love the word 'shenanigans' Grin

1ToughCookie · 24/09/2019 20:24

I would feel pretty awkward about receiving an invite to, let alone attending, my boyfriend's mother's friend's daughter's baby shower.

RONNIETRIX · 24/09/2019 20:27

No ur not but more presents I spose? 😂

Original poster
Jellybeans101 · 24/09/2019 20:29

Thank you all- she is being totally unreasonable.

For all of you saying - you wouldn’t wanna go I wouldn’t either! If she said to me would you like to go ‘friends sons girlfriends babyshower’ I’d be like no.

I had to check I wasn’t being awkward here - she made me feel really bad and offering not to go herself which really annoyed me.

It is her first grandchild yes!

OP posts:
manicmij · 24/09/2019 21:21

Cancel the whole thing. You can celebrate your baby for the rest of his/her life once he/she arrives.

Original poster
Jellybeans101 · 24/09/2019 21:34

@manicmij that’s what I’m thinking sadly

OP posts:
GettingABitDesperateNow · 24/09/2019 21:35

Does she even know her friends sons gf? If for some reason she is close to them then I can understand it a bit more...but if not then that's crazy. It sounds like she is trying to impress her friends. But surely they have already been considered, through their own invites

Heartburn888 · 24/09/2019 21:45

Wondered how long it would take before the anti baby shower posts arrived.

I would invite out of courtesy depending on how long they’ve been together a sit might be a good time to meet.

Unknownanon · 24/09/2019 21:50

Sounds like she wants the excuse to.host and show off to people she knows. I'd cancel or just go ahead without her.

fargo123 · 24/09/2019 21:51

If I received an invitation to my boyfriend's mother's friend's daughter's (is that right?!) baby/bridal shower I'd think that was totally bizarre and assume they were greedy and fishing for extra presents. No way would I attend, and I don't mind showers in general.

Ohmygod123 · 24/09/2019 21:52

Eh? Who invites friends sons girlfriends to their daughters baby shower that don't even know them? Baby showers are for friends and family. Your mother is nuts! Are you paying for everyone to have afternoon tea? If so then I wouldn't be paying for a random person

Howlovely · 24/09/2019 21:58

That is very strange. I can't imagine why she'd even think to invite them? Unless her friends have hinted that it might be nice if they were invited? Why on earth would they even make the list otherwise?