To think my situation is making me selfish

[SelfishandNotProud]

Suffering with fertility problems recently and I read a lot on here about how you ought to be sure about X Y or Z about your relationship/partner before trying for a baby etc...

And I realised, as awful as it sounds, that even if I had concerns about my relationship, which I don't, but if I did, I would still carry on trying.

To me, right now, I'd still rather have a child with the wrong person, as in someone I wasn't going to stay with, than not at all.

I think it depends on how you view yourself with that child. My dream was always to have children in a happy relationship and raise them with their father and be a family. Thankfully that's what eventually happened for me (though not without IVF so I sympathise with your struggles).

There are obviously a lot of issues that come with having a child with someone you can't get on with or be with and raising a child alone would scare me, though obviously plenty of folk do it and do it well. But personally I don't think I could knowingly bring a child into a 'bad' relationship.

I think it’s just human nature.

I don't think you're selfish but you are in a supportive relationship so applying how you feel now to an unlikely, hypothetical situation. I'm glad you do have a good relationship with your partner :)

I get it, I'm nearly 2 years ttc and had 2 missed miscarriages this year. I'm lucky that my relationship with dh is good despite the shitty hand we've been dealt. It's been hell and currently no sign of things improving in the near future, we're definitely in it for the long haul. I am so grateful that my relationship is strong and we are supporting each other. It would be completely different if I was in a crap relationship trying to navigate infertilty and baby loss.

Wishing you the best ❤️🤞 xx

I get it. We've been trying for dc2 for nearly two years now. I really wouldn't want to give up!

I really wouldn't want to give up!

That's it. And I don't think I'd have the strength to stop, even if I knew it weren't right.