to worry that DS9 might be depressed?

[ScatteredMama82]

My DS9 seems to be going through a tough phase and I have no idea why. I’d say 90% of the time he is fine, but he is prone to some quite dark moods. He gets really down on himself. On Friday night I found him sitting up in bed at 11pm just being sad. He wasn’t crying, but he said he was feeling really angry and he didn’t know why. He said he hates himself, and he’s an idiot but he couldn’t really pinpoint what was making him feel that way. I’ve just had a call from his teacher saying that he’s not been himself today, he’s been very unhappy with himself and got in a fight with his best friend which is SO unlike him. I’ve tried to gently ask about the obvious things like bullying, or anyone doing things that make him uncomfortable but he says he really doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way.

I’m going in to meet with his teacher tomorrow, but I’m just so sad for him. He’s a lovely, bright, energetic little boy and the thought of him being so sad just breaks my heart.

Has anyone got any advice on how to get to the bottom of it?

Could it be hormonal? Sounds a bit like teenage angst.

Horrible to see your dc sad and dark.

It could be I suppose, but isn’t he a bit young for that?

For now just be there for him and don't keep questioning him on his feelings etc. He'll open up when he wants to if he wants to.

isn’t he a bit young for that?

Please don't think that, that's what happened to me - too young to be depressed apparently and as a result, my MH issues were never taken seriously until I messed my A levels up. We mustn't dismiss someone's feelings because of their age, it has the potential to make things far worse.

My boy is 9 but the difference I suppose is that he's been hard on himself for a few years now. Definitely get the school involved as things like nurture groups should exist to help in these situations.
I do think hormones can come into it, even at age 9 so don't dismiss that either.
Hopefully it will pass but the main thing you can do is let him know he can come to you with any worries.
I hate how upset my son gets and just want to fix it for him. I'm sure you feel the same. Luckily there is lots of support around these days for both of you if it does turn out to be more than a passing issue.
Good luck.

OP, I've heard good things about this book:
www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-Worry-Much-What/dp/1591473144/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=children+with+anxiety&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1569343109&sr=8-1

Tbh year 5 was the worst with my ds so far, used to get so angry. Never really got to the bottom of it.

isn’t he a bit young for that?

Nope, most of our adult views of ourselves are formed by the time we are 10, don’t dismiss people because they are young.

My boy was like that. It broke my heart because he was just so young, and so vulnerable and so sad. Sadly it did get worse for a while BUT (big big but) although he had a pretty shit middle school and early high school experience, he is truly the happiest person I know now. It wasn’t all sad though, it came in waves so don’t think it is non-stop for the next 6years, it is up and down but there is a light. Sorry for him and you

Thank you for all your advice. I didn't press him on it last night but he wanted to talk so we did. They have had a supply teacher since returning to school this year and they seem to have got off on the wrong foot. An incident on the 2nd day back made him think she hates him, and now he's acting out, almost like he's trying to validate the way he's feeling. On top of that, for the first time ever I noticed his school shirt smells of BO! I think hormones are raging, and that isn't helping. I went into speak to the teacher this morning, along with the head (it's a tiny village school and she knows all the kids really well). It was really positive, they have got some good strategies in place around mentoring and self-esteem so I'm reassured that now he has 'cried out' for help he will get it. I'll keep in close contact with school over it and encourage him to keep talking.

I wish there was a parenting handbook!