To expect a please

[scittlescatter]

I am giving away an item if reasonable value via a local community group. Not interested in money, I just want it to go somewhere else where it will get used.

I posted it and had lots of interest. I would usually give it to the first who responded, but got replies along the lines of 'I'll grab it'

Aibu to expect a 'yes please' or similar. Manners cost nothing. I'm tempted to give it to the first person who said please, passing over the grabby replies

@bongsuhan Oh FFS, it was FB Marketplace!! You cannot be serious?! There is heehaw legally binding about it If it was, maybe I coulda sued every person who has wasted my time for not showing up to collect things I've sold, or even given away for free. What utter nonsense. Are people just jumping on the band wagon here now?!

I'm not a UK lawyer, but you agreed to sell a specific item at a specific price. That's legally binding in most jurisdictions I'm aware of. That it's probably not worth the buyer's bother to sue you is another question. It has certainly happened in similar cases where more valuable items were at stake.

I agree Whocanbebothered. These FB/Freecycle people often have no qualms about leaving you in the lurch, agreeing to buy then disappearing or messing around taking ages. If someone offers more money and does the deal there and then, it's a no brainer.

FB Marketplace!! You cannot be serious?! There is heehaw legally binding about it
Well if someone chose to.they could take you to court as a verbal contract is legally binding in many cases.
Probably only worth it if the contract was for something really valuable but they could do it just to make life difficult for the seller through small claims for a few quid which wouldn't look good for future selling.

@whocanbebothered honestly I may have done the same thing if I needed the money, I'm not implying you are a bad person for deciding to make more money on your item and sell to someone else.

I think what puts you in a bad light is your attitude to their fiery reply. Of course they were reasonable to be annoyed, and they were asserting their own boundaries by telling you so.

I might be wrong (I have no doubt you'll tell me!) but it seems like you're not understanding why that first buyer dared to be pissed off with you. They were entitled to be disappointed, annoyed and to let you know that because their anger was caused by your decision to put yourself first (which in itself is absolutely fair enough) but the way you put it came across as disrespectful.

It's not a politeness thing, it's an empathy thing.

I don't believe you were necessarily wrong to do what you did, but you probably deserved a bit of backlash from them.

Wow, this has been derailed massively.

Fwiw I do agree that once a price has been agreed to, it should be honoured.

This isn't about that, I just want a polite reply.

Many apologies I've added to the derail, OP.

Yes, polite replies don't take too much effort! Is it a case of people feeling more entitled now than in the past do you think? I'd never dream of replying 'mine' like I'm a seagull in Finding Nemo but it happens so often.

I agree with OP. I sometimes list things on freecycle and freegle, and always choose the politest answer. If I get a reply from someone who hasn't read the offer properly or someone who seems rude and grabby, then they won't get it.

bongsuhan's mistake was to explain to the first 'buyer' why it was no longer available. It was a bit crap to accept an offer and then sell it to someone else.

YANBU

Unless desperate to get rid of something large, I go for the polite one. Someone came to take a mattress and barely acknowledged me. Rude.

I message again afterwards to say thanks very much, whenever I have got something.

Not to derail further but.... bongsuhan and willow, you clearly know chuff all about UK contract law In this instance no "consideration" has passed, and therefore no contract has yet been created. It would be a different story if the potential buyer had paid up front, but not yet received the item, but that is not the stated case.