To think psychiatrist get used to people being rude to them

[User50577]

I was in an appointment with my adult dd. She at one point got frustrated and said you don’t f (swear word) doing anything. She doesn’t usually react like that and I’m very disappointed in her however the psychiatrist was very calm about it. Are they used to being spoken to like that?

Why were you in at the appointment? What happens is there is none of your business as your dd is adult. You being there may have influenced what she did or said!

Very unprofessional of the psychiatrist if this happened

To be honest it’s not such a big deal and it would be odd if a psychiatrist overreacted to a bit of swearing. All sorts of emotions come out during counseling and I would imagine the psychiatrist has heard things 100 times worse.

You, however, seem devastated, am I misreading your post? Give your head a wobble, if was just a ‘fucking’.

Of course they are used to it. They are dealing with people with mental issues so they've seen much worse things than a patient swearing.

Are you new to these appointments? Have you never seen your DD distressed before?

Yeah they are used to to it and a lot worse ,when I worked in acute mental health if someone is acutely mentally unwell ,some can be physically aggressive too.

I think anyone who works with troubled people gets used to people being rude to them. I used to work in a prison- seriously, the way these men talk to civilian staff, uniformed staff, healthcare, and to each other is vile. If we got upset about it we'd spend all day reporting things! I think realistically most trained professionals will use this as a window into what is really bothering that person; it says more about their situation and their feelings that you might realise.

She wanted me in there I wouldn’t have attend if she didn’t want me there

All doctors are used to far worse, OP! I’ve been punched in the face, kicked across a room by a steel capped boot, and sworn at several times during my 36 years in the NHS. Did you really think we never meet patients who are drunk, drugged, mentally ill, angry, frightened, special needs?

I used to work with 2 psychiatrists and it wasn’t the swearing that they disliked it was the the ‘fan mail’ containing pubic hair.

Some will get used to it and some don’t. There’s a lot of burn out in jobs dealing with the public.

Front line ones like paramedics usually suffer more mental and physical health problems, but part of that is due to being treated as lower status.

I'm a mental health nurse working on an acute, inpatient ward. I'm totally used to being sworn at, called names and threatened. It's not something that I react negatively to, it's easier and safer to let the patient have their shout, take themselves off (providing they are safe to be alone) and then approach them a bit later.

I've seen staff try and shout back at patients, shame them for their language or do the whole "authority thing" and that never ends well

I assume the individual will refuse to work with her after what she said.

Your DD and the psychiatrist may both find they have v little choice in the matter.

If that is the service for your DD, and they are the psychiatrist, they may well be stuck with each other.

As a HCP I would say partly you get used to it, but also it isn't the job you dream of as a teenager so a lot of people are busy planning their early retirements, part-time working or other escape routes. And there is a lot of burnout.

I assume the individual will refuse to work with her after what she said

Honestly, that’s probably not the case. Unless there’s more that you haven’t told us, it would be unusual for a psychiatrist to refuse to treat someone after being sworn at once. How were things left after the appointment? If your DD is open to continue to working with the person in question then you could suggest she apologises to them and see how things go from there. But to echo the others, any doctor/frontline medical professional is used to being sworn at by people who are upset/angry/frustrated/scared, it’s not nice but it’s understandable.

I work in a hospital (not a psychiatrist) and have been called a cunt multiple times in a night. People often swear when they are stressed and vulnerable. I think it would be rare for anyone working in the acute setting or psychiatric services to hold it against them. People only tend to withdraw their care if patients are racist or directly threatening (e.g “I am going to fucking rape you” Yes this has been said to my colleague)

Why would you assume that? Being able to express yourself is part of a positive therapeutic relationship.

If the Psychiatrist refused to work with someone after being sworn ,they probably wouldn't have many patients tbh .

(some) Psychiatrists are some of the least empathic, least tolerant people I've ever met. They also seem not to understand mental health and many are very judgemental and even hostile to their patients

I have worked with a great many and altho gh there have been 1 or maybe 2 good ones, the rest were awful, and the things they said about their patients and especially those with diagnoses of personality disorder, were truly awful.

O have heard Psychiatrists refuse to treat people the don't like - not to their face of course, but to other staff. I've also seen several being blatenly rude and aggrevating to their patients.

Some mean well, but most are over paid, drug pushers with no empathy or people skills.

Ps. I work with people with mental health problems and also forensic clients. I have heard all sorts and would completely understand if I was sworn at. It's part of the job.

To be honest, I wish more people would tell the psychiatrists just what they think of them!!! ;) well done your DD :)

Err, @Booboostwo you are confusing a psychiatrist with a counsellor.

When you work in mental health you do get used to it, I know it's not personal and I wouldn't refuse to work with someone just because they swore at me.

jamoncrumpet thanks for that really helpful contribution to the discussion. For what it's worth, I am not. I am fully aware that psychiatrists have a medical degree while counselors do not, and yet that doesn't stop psychiatrists from engaging in talking-type explorations of symptoms and causes with their patients. I assume the OP's DD said 'fucking' in the context of talking about her feelings, emotions, symptoms, etc. rather than randomly saying "Hello and fuck you", so my overall point stands.

I would question OP your reaction and where that sits.

Your dd doesn't sound like she was overly aggressive but she showed her frustration. It would by nature be a loaded conversation and whilst no of course it's not appropriate it is understandable.

I'm honestly not trying to have a go and may be off the mark but my thought is I have a mother who by far prioritised "right " behaviour and politeness etc over anything. This sounds like that a bit. What it showed me was when I was distressed and upset she was far less concerned about me and far more concerned about a strangers feelings. It meant I stopped trusting her , and have always felt I was far less important than anyone else to her. We barely speak now.

I dont agree with anyone swearing at a professional and I'm not a psychiatrist, but I have operated in roles where I'm sworn at through frustration. Of course it isn't fun but you get used to it and understand it's usually frustration at themselves.

I've been hit and hurt professionally an whilst I categorically do not believe anyone should experience that I still actually understood it was out of fear and frustration because that's the client group I worked with.

Perhaps have a think why its affected you so much and where your thoughts lie around priorities.

However I fully accept you only hear a bit of things on this forum and it may be a totally different dynamic.

It hardly seems inappropriate to me - swearing can be very expressive and therapeutic when used as an emphatic.

I've had involvements with a bunch of mental health professionals over the years and conversational swearing has always been allowed. Quite a few of them say "shit" when they drop something on their foot, because they're also human too.

FWIW I've met some psychiatrists that clearly made the professionals want to swear. They do vary enormously.

A bit like working in a school.. totally used to being sworn at my kids and parents. Not that it is ok or ignored, but you get used to it pretty quick.

Anybody working with the general public will come across this you get used to it .
rang an edlery customer last week in one of the poshest areas we cover. To say there service was restored less than 4 hours after fault reported massive issues with weather engineers out 24/7 and they said "about fucking time"and put the phone down.