To feel a bit sad that I won't be celebrating my 21st birthday?

[pockethelot]

It's just that really. I'm thankful for my years, etc, but I feel quite sad my birthday is at the weekend and I won't be celebrating it.

I have never really been bothered by birthdays, even in my early teens I found them a bit 'bleh'. But somebody asked me today what I did for my 18th and I honestly don't remember. I have slight recollection of what it could've been like but that birthday would be identical to my 17th, 19, 20th.

No idea what I did in particular and that's because I didn't really do anything at all!

I have a small DC and currently very busy studying for a degree. It's all very busy bee 24/7.

AIBU to feel a bit sad? No milestone birthdays after this until I'm 30, an age people start to moan about and consider 'getting old' (even though I don't think it's anywhere near old).

Maybe it's just saying goodbye to the most youthful of youth. That's it now - Bye. Gone forever, a chapter of my life over without being particularly noteworthy.

Do something about it - you don't have to go all out and have a party or anything but even if it's taking your DC out somewhere fun, you can still make memories x

Angel Oh I definitely will take DC out somewhere nice

But it's not the same. We do that anyway and it doesn't feel memorable in particular for a birthday of 21

I can’t remember what I did for my 21st. I think I went with DP to West Midlands Safari park. I have absolutely no regrets.

I’m 23 now and expecting first DD. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, I don’t understand the whole 21 thing. I think it’s because 21 is the legal age to drink in America, which is why we celebrate our 18th how they celebrate their 21st. Don’t worry, take DC out, have cake for dinner and have a gin and tonic once their in bed! Happy Birthday for when it comes around OP!

From the title I thought this was going to be a really sad thread.

I thought that Skang.

Me too, Skang! I thought OP was terminally ill.
OP, your birthday can be whatever you care to make it. Think of what you might like to do, and plan something nice.

Ahh, I do see what you mean about the title of the thread. I've asked for it to be altered by HQ!

Apologies, I didn't make the connection at the time of posting

Do your family not celebrate birthdays?

Can you not organize something,or do you have family/friends that would organize it for you?

It doesn't have to be a party,a group of you could go out for a nice meal,someone could organize a nice cake for you,there's still plenty of time.

Jesus you’re only 21! Fine to make a big fuss and fanfare if you are single and childless I suppose but grown up stuff can be a bit more tame!

Wait until you are 50!

Is there a reason that you're not celebrating with family and friends? Seems a shame not to, especially as you seem so sad that you're not doing anything special

That’s what happens when you have kids. DH has a big birthday coming up and I feel bad it will be fairly low key. We will do something but no big party or holiday.

I know how you feel. I had a baby a few weeks before turning 21 and didn't really celebrate. I didn't mind though at the time. But my 30 th came and went and I did nothing. I have four young kids so it's hard planning stuff, but I feel someone could have made the effort and done something nice for me. It's probably self indulgent but I do feel sad that I've never done anything special on milestone birthdays.

I didn’t celebrate mine either, I was 39 weeks pregnant! Then had a 4 week old baby for my 30th 🤦🏼‍♀️

21 used to be the age when you were a legally an adult, it's been 18 for years but some people make a thing of both.

I can remember my 21st birthday for a terrorist attack on a British city and going to a Wedt Ebd show with my family.

Well why not celebrate?
If you can't afford much or can't leave DC, then just get in some nibbles and ask some friends to come round for drinks?

I’ve never made a massive fuss of my birthdays. I love a party, but I hate being the centre of attention! I’ve always found it better, for the big ones, to gang up with a few mates who have closeish birthdays, and have a big joint bash (obviously not in the actual day itself). Is that something you could do later?

That’s what happens when you have kids

I guess that just depends whether you have a supportive family or not. Me and DH have had a couple of landmark birthdays since having dd and either of our parents have no question looked after her whilst we celebrated with friends

I had to sit one of my finals on my 21st birthday so it all got rather lost! I didn't particularly care - I waited until all my friends had finished their exams and then those of us who had missed our birthdays through revision/study had a huge night out to celebrate. If you want to do something, why don't you organise it? It's not an unsolvable problem.

Can you not get a babysitter and go out for one night?..

I celebrated mine with my best mate from college I had one of the best nights of my life going through the cocktail menu in my favourite bar, dancing in a club after.. A few weeks later he went to uni before me and found new friends. Wouldn't even answer the phone to me. So much shite happened to me after that it really doesn't matter to be at all.

Around my 30th I found out OH had been cheating on me for the 2nd time. We were abroad with our kids - yeah massively awkward and horrible.

My kids birhdays, I make a huge deal, but I think some of the fuss over adult birthdays gets a bit OTT and cringey to be honest.

I’m in my late forties and my 21st birthday happened when I was at university, 6 months in, very far from home and too expensive to get back. It wasn’t memorable at all, I think there was an attempt at a ‘party’ at our shared house but it was really just another Saturday night in student land. What I remember is what I was doing when I was 21 and you will too. By all means plan something nice but it’s not a biggie....my 30th happened when I was on a year out travelling the world. Again surrounded by relative strangers. And my 40th I was pregnant, couldn’t drink, felt rotten didn’t go anywhere... My advice is don’t make so much of one day. Not everyone gets a big birthday party due to circumstances...think about doing something memorable with your little one like a photo shoot, or create a time capsule to open on your child’s 21st, or cast both your hands in clay as a memento of the day?

I had pizza with my coursemates. I was living in France on my year abroad for my degree. My birthday is in January and we were all skint. It was very low key. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I had some great birthdays in my late twenties and early thirties. This only has to be "a thing" if you let it.