AIBU to be confused by counsellor approach?

[Genuinelyconfused]

I saw a counsellor last week and it’s been bothering me loads since. Went to talk about relationship problems with DP and counsellor gave me advice a lot based on where I am and how I’m feeling anyways. Counsellor outright said I should leave DP and stop worrying about DS as he’ll be fine if I’m happy. I have been thinking about leaving DP for ages but kind of thought we would talk about reasons why and explore my own issues in relationship. No abuse or nothing like that so no massive red flag for her to say leave.

I just want to know whether it’s normal for counsellors to give actual leading advice? I was unsure about leaving DP but she just said I’m basically flogging a dead horse trying to make relationship work and I’m clearly really miserable. Just not what I expected tbh. Not the answer which she’s probably right about but more fact that she gave real advice.

AIBU to be surprised to have been given such direct advice? Or is this normal?

What type of counsellor is she and what approach does she use? Most don’t give advice... what qualifications does she have?

Anyone can hang out their slate as a counsellor. How did you choose this person, and how much research did you do on them?

Relationship counsellor, fully qualified, been counsellor for 20plus years and is v highly recommended.

I think most don't give advice but need more info in line with what @Nightmanagerfan said.

What does “fully qualified mean”?

Is she BACP accredited? Counsellors don’t usually give advice

BACP and was recommended in London. Has v impressive resume. Is ‘well known’ if that makes sense.

Was it your first session? Are you going back? Talk to her about it.

Maybe she was challenging you. You say you’ve been thinking about it, is it what you want, really?

You’re right, counsellors don’t give advice but they do reflect back to you and provide challenge.

Hmmm I do find this strange given years qualified etc. Are you seeing them again? I think it would be acceptable to say. I wasn't expecting such direct advice.

It was first session. I have been thinking about this and maybe it was reflecting back a bit but she was quite direct about how given how unhappy I am we should separate and how to go about it. I’m seeing her tomorrow but before raising it wanted to see whether it’s normal and whether this is an approach that is taken in counselling? Thank you

Was it a tactic to push you to come up with solid reasons or positives to stay was my thought. Sometimes people are really vague or can't clearly articulate or pin down the reasons they're unhappy or the few positives they're staying in a situation for. My Counsellor has given advice when I pushed them to, they were reluctant, but I had no one IRL to ask & had done all the pros, cons list , challenging my catastrophising & negative thoughts with reality of it etc & was still fearful & floundering.

Most don't give advice. The one I saw clearly found it very awkward just giving me advice on where the nearest cash machine was.

I see a counsellor, and she said to me on our first or second session “why don’t you say hello if you ever see your ex instead of pretending you haven’t seen him”, I thought she was actually telling me to do that, so next session I mentioned it and she explained she was “challenging” me and she wanted me to think of both sides of what to do if that makes any sense.