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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do I do ?!?

33 replies

Lol246 · 23/09/2019 18:11

I've been with my partner for 8 years and love him dearly, when I met him he had a house in his hometown which was just over an hour from my hometown so I moved in with him and we had the best time ! Then I fell pregnant and I knew instantly I wanted to go home as I would need the help and I'm so close to my family , now two years down the line and after very very rough patch in our relationship my partner has given me an ultimatum that if I dont move back to his hometown with him that the relationship is over. Just typing this breaks my heart my parents have helped us so much with my daughter and it would break their hearts if we moved away again, also I have no support network in his hometown as he isnt close to his family. What do I do !?

OP posts:
BarrenFieldofFucks · 23/09/2019 19:35

How far is his work?

billy1966 · 23/09/2019 19:36

Do not move under these circumstances.

He can't really love you and want what's best for you and your child while issuing an ultimatum like that.

Do not become dependent on him.

Let him move away and see how things go.

You know your family have your back.

Stay put.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 23/09/2019 19:36

Cross post 😊

Brideof2020 · 23/09/2019 19:40

To be honest he doesn't sound very nice OP, I could never imagine my DF giving me an ultimatum like that. He sounds rather controlling and it's not good when you wouldn't have a support network if you moved.

Ask yourself this, if you separated would you be absolutely devastated forever... or do you feel you would be upset for a while but see yourself coming out the other side?

If you want to stay together, and it's just because of his work, could you reach a compromise? could he rent somewhere in his hometown during the week and you join him at weekend - even for a trial period?

cakeandchampagne · 23/09/2019 19:44

Stay near your parents!

bridgetreilly · 23/09/2019 19:56

It's an hour away. I genuinely don't understand why either of you are being so melodramatic about this. Whichever place you live, you're near enough to see your family plenty.

Thereblegeopart · 23/09/2019 20:00

This is sort of how DV started in my marriage, and then escalated over time. He's trying to control you.

thespellhasbeenbroken123 · 23/09/2019 20:08

Do not move

Childcare costs alone would counter act any money saved on the commute surely???

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