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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What happens if you have nothing

36 replies

Jux · 23/09/2019 18:00

There was an advert about funeral costs insurance, and it set me wondering about when you have nothing. Your home has been sold - if you were lucky enough to own it in the first place - and any savings you had have been eaten up by nursing home fees; you have nothing left, your relatives have been trying to pay for your care but can't do so any longer. You've been ousted from the home because no-one can pay for it, so you're living with a relative in their spare room (and lucky in that a relative has room and will take you in), and then you die. There's no 'estate', no land or property, no investments, no money, nothing.

Are there such things as 'pauper's funerals' any more? What happens when there's nothing and no-one can pay?

OP posts:
PancakeAndKeith · 23/09/2019 18:02

I think there is a ‘paupers funeral’.
There must be a good number of homeless people who die with nothing and no one.

Celebelly · 23/09/2019 18:02

Council handle it.

Wildthyme · 23/09/2019 18:02

Find a funeral director who will allow monthly payments, or crowd fund like my neighbours had to.

Even a basic cremation will cost about £900 depending where you live.

FadedRed · 23/09/2019 18:05

Council will organise a ‘Public health’ funeral for those without means. Usually a no frills cremation which can be attended by friends/relatives.

Wildthyme · 23/09/2019 18:06

Also, the DWP have a grant up to £1500 to help pay if there really is no money, but they can and probably will claw it back. The criteria is very strict.

beyond.life/help-centre/funeral-costs/what-is-a-paupers-funeral-a-guide-to-public-health-funerals-in-the-uk/

MrsMaiselsMuff · 23/09/2019 18:08

Public health funeral, or if your relatives are in receipt of certain benefits, the DWP offer a funeral payment.

FredaFrogspawn · 23/09/2019 18:08

All those adverts between crown court and murder she wrote reruns for funeral expenses insurance - it must be a real worry for older people with no savings. Knowing your funeral was paid for was quite a massively reassuring thing in days gone by. So much for your family to find otherwise.

HaveToNameChange23 · 23/09/2019 18:10

The council sort it.

My dad died when I was 25. I hadn't seen him since I was 5. He was a horrible man. I had no money and could not afford to pay his funeral for him.

The council arranged a funeral. A few randoms turned up. He didnt get a head stone, but his grave was marked with a little wooden cross. The service was nice and tasteful.

Venger · 23/09/2019 18:14

If you die with no means to pay for your funeral and family are unwilling/unable to pay for a funeral (or there is no family) then you get buried "on the council". Family can attend but it's no frills with no transport for relatives and no flowers unless they bring their own, they get no say on the type of funeral (cremation or burial) and if buried you might be buried in an unmarked, shared grave. The council will seek to recover the costs from the estate, if there is one.

HaveToNameChange23 · 23/09/2019 18:18

Venger - in my dad's case it was not a shared grave and his grave was marked with a little wooden cross which has no doubt blown away or disintegrated now. I was impressed he had his own plot and this was marked in abook somewhere. I don't think they still do shared or unmarked graves (?) His funeral arrangements were tasteful and respectful (not that I felt he deserved such necessarily.)

dayslikethese1 · 23/09/2019 18:29

I think there are places you can donate your body for medical research etc. and then they pay for a basic cremation. I've been looking into it myself as I don't want anyone stuck paying for me when I'm gone.

Venger · 23/09/2019 18:31

I don't think they still do shared or unmarked graves (?) His funeral arrangements were tasteful and respectful (not that I felt he deserved such necessarily.)

Our neighbour at our old house was buried in a shared grave. The service was respectful and proper but I guess the council has to get the most use that it can from the plots it owns.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 23/09/2019 18:32

There is obviously no estate in most of these cases though @Venger.
My friend had to use this service for his DM and the funeral usually takes place first thing in the morning.

Venger · 23/09/2019 18:35

Recovery from the estate is usually when someone dies with no friends/family to claim them and no funeral arrangements made ahead of time, they'd still get a council burial and then the council would seek to recover the costs. That's what I meant by recovering from the estate if there is one, I know most people being buried on the council won't have an estate but some obviously do.

Ginkypig · 23/09/2019 18:36

Depending on which area Potentially the council cover a basic (usually cremation) service but there aren't normally much choice of anything or the day it happens or even have anyone at the service and normally only if there really is no one who can pay for it.

There are grants depending on where you live or dwp have grants etc but to be eligible the family have to fit certain criteria like being in receipt of particular benefits etc

Some funeral directors allow monthly payments.

So There are options but it very much depends on the circumstances of the family etc of the deceased or the area the person died.

The best thing to do is to google the question plus the area you want to know about.

theunknownknown · 23/09/2019 18:38

they get no say on the type of funeral (cremation or burial) and if buried you might be buried in an unmarked, shared grave

this is not quite true!!
It would not be a shared grave and the family may have some say on whether it was a burial/cremation particularly around religious reasons.
The council I work for treats these cases with a great deal of respect - the deceased can't be 'blamed' for having nothing or no family - it is not a shaming exercise.

Missingstreetlife · 23/09/2019 18:41

Why would the council not pay for care?

MuchBetterNow · 23/09/2019 18:43

I've been to a couple of council funerals and didn't notice much difference from a regular one. You don't have to have a funeral, two of my colleagues donated their remains to medical research. I don't intend to have one, they're a total waste of money.

anotherusername33 · 23/09/2019 18:49

According to my local authority's website it's cremation unless the deceased would have wanted a burial, in which case it's a communal unmarked grave.

ParkheadParadise · 23/09/2019 18:49

When my mum had to go into a care home and sell her home, we arranged a funeral plan and paid for it with the money from the house sale. The social worker who was dealing with mum was furious with us. She told us we shouldn't have used the money and we should have also bought a basic plan.
At the end of the day it was my mum's money and her insurance policy wouldn't have covered the funeral bill.

Hecateh · 23/09/2019 20:13

and you won't get thrown out of a home because you can't afford it.

You may occasionally be moved to a cheaper one but if there isn't one then the home still has to keep you.

Even if there is a cheaper one, so long as you genuinely need care and if you have been there a long time they will usually keep you there following a 'best interest' meeting.

Spacey306 · 23/09/2019 20:16

Last October my mum's ex husband died from alcoholism. We're still close to his family however he had no money or any arrangements for a funeral. His next of kin- daughter- had to apply for a funeral fund with the council. The local funeral service then arranged the funeral we got to chose songs and a reading . There was a coffin 3 songs and a reading . He was cremated and we got the ashes. I don't know if this varies in each city but you'd never have known it wasn't a paid for funeral.

Missingstreetlife · 23/09/2019 21:28

If a close relative or friend has responsibility for organising funeral and is on benefit I think there is some grant that can be made

Maryann1975 · 23/09/2019 21:33

My grandparents funerals we’re paid for before they even moved in to their care home. We were advised to do this by a solicitor, so the money came from their estate, rather than us ending up using all their money for care home fees and then the family having to pay for the funeral.