To realise I'm utterly pathetic

[Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav]

I'm really sorry if this long and rambling.
Two years ago I had an operation that was urgent but not major. I've had a few issues with the area since so had been waiting for a hospital appointment.
My husband is currently away for 3 days at a funeral.
I suffer from acute anxiety disorder.
So to my patheticness (I know that's not a word)
My appointment was today, I'm not good in waiting rooms, it sets my anxiety off, hospitals even more so. I get there to find there's a half hour delay. I start getting the normal jitters but as the waiting room was busy I couldn't do my normal pacing around so I was getting worse. Anyway I eventually went in, was in and out in about 5mins which was great. I rang my mum to tell her about my app, she had a problem in work so couldn't talk. I rang my husband, there was no answer but I wasn't surprised so text my son who was picking his sisters up from school to walk down to meet me as I was going into the supermarket nearby to pick up a couple of bits. He text back saying he couldn't be bothered and wanted to go home. Husband called back asked how it went but had obviously had a few drinks which is fine as I wasn't expecting anything less but he was obviously distracted so I said I quick goodbye. He text to ask if I was OK, I said no I felt like I was about to cry. He called back and I started crying in the middle of the shop because I'd been left on my own to go to the hospital, my husband isn't here, my mum was too busy to talk to me and my kids couldn't be bothered walking 20mins to meet me.
So it turns out not only am I jittering wreck am apparently a jittering wreck that can't do normal everyday things without somebody with me 😕😢
Sorry that was so long

@wouldyouadamandeveit - Sorry (sensitive as always, another trait!). I just read my post back (after a busy day at work) and thought 'Oh god, it doesn't read right!'.
I hope the OP realises she's not alone and that others experience the same. You never know who's dealing with it cos we hide it so well

@Livebythecoast It's fine! I think we both see red when a poster with a lack of understanding comments If only life was as easy for us ;)

You made it to your appointment OP, that's what matters.

@wouldyouadamandeveit -so true .
@Sparklypurpleunicornsaremyfav - I hope you realise you're not alone. It takes a brave person to admit and recognise it. I wish you all the very best

It's normal to feel anxious over medical issues and I have social anxiety so I'd be very anxious too. How about re framing it tho? You actually were really brave, went on your own despite your anxiety & managed to do the appt. Really, it was a success, you managed OK! Yes it would've been nice to have someone there etc but that's not always possible, so yes you had a little cry, but, congratulate yourself, it's an achievement. (& don't be so hard on yourself, it's baby steps, the more you do, the more confident & less anxious you will feel).