AIBU to think that it is wrong for them to suggest that I have a hysterectomy in my mid 20s?

[GrannySquares]

I had an ectopic pregnancy a month ago which was interstitial. They removed it (by slitting and suctioning I think) but the left over tissue was further than they thought and now started to grow again with increasing hcg levels as it is a very dangerous and difficult location to operate on again. I am being medicated for it but if it doesn't work then it is game over basically.

2 consultants have asked me if I am planning on having anymore children and I said no, then they said well we may as well just go ahead and recommend that you have a hysterectomy as something of this nature is very difficult to resolve and can result in excessive bleeding (resectioning my uterus - cutting a chunk out). I said but unless it is life threatening or there's absolutely nothing you can do, then I don't want a hysterectomy.

I still want to have periods, and not go into menopause (apparently if I had a subtotal hysterectomy and leave my ovaries, there's a chance I can go into menopause in the next 5 years as they can "spasm"(?)). Is having a hysterectomy really an easy and straightforward procedure for them to perform rather than spending hours trying to resection my womb?

I feel like shit to be honest that it may come to this

No, hysterectomy isn't a very minor procedure. It's a major operation. But so is resectioning your uterus by the sound of it.

I am not a doctor but I have had a hysterectomy at the age of 44. I know how hard I had to battle with the GP and consultant. The NHS consider hysterectomy as the very last resort. The very fact they're suggesting it to you at your age says to me that there are exceptionally good medical reasons for doing so. And TWO consultants have recommended it. I really think you need to listen to them. They're not suggesting it for fun.

Personally, not having periods is a massive bonus for me. HRT is safe and effective should you go into menopause early.

That's crazy OP. I was hurled into a very early menopause after having my tubes ligated. My doctor said this could happen and it did so yes it's possible. I do hope you don't need the op.

They can be done vaginally now. My sister's SIL had one a while back and recovered much better than my mum who had a radical abdominal hysterectomy and now has an incisional hernia.
Tbh I don't think they suggest them without a good reason. I think you need to speak to your consultant and explore the other options before you can decide.
Sorry you are having such a bad time

God, I wish I had your doctors. I have adenomyosis (main symptom = disabling hell-on-earth periods - apparently the pains are similar to childbirth), the only cure for which is hysterectomy. But they won't give me one because I'm still "of childbearing age". (I don't have, and have never wanted, and do not want, children.)

Il be blunt her. I had a cervical cancer scare last year. Think 6 months of worry with biopsies, chunk of cervix removed which almost led to surgery as they could not stop the bleeding. When I went back for my 6 month follow up test to see if I was clear I told my partner that as much as I want another child(he doesn't but that's still in discussion) if the results were bad I was requesting they remove the lot and give me a full hysterectomy. I would rather be alive for the children I have than dead because it comes back. If medically it would save you risking your life as an ectopic pregnancy can kill you if not caught in time and you do not want more children I don't see a negative to them recommending it. I know people in early 30s who begged for them to do it but they would not. Think long term health.

I think it might focus your thoughts if you consider the situations you think it would be necessary. Then ask for clarification.

Is it life threatening?
Will you have ongoing health problems and medication if you do not go ahead?
Would you be able to carry a pregnancy (if not then any risk of falling pregnant will be heartbreaking and dangerous to you)?

It sounds like this is the safest option for you, but make sure they explain why so you feel like it's your choice.

JaneDidion how frustrating!

OP ask also about the risk of prolapse later in life - this is a risk that is sometimes glossed over and can be lifechanging.

I had the same as Jane. I had a subtotal hysterectomy at 36 after 10-12 years of crippling pain. Early hysterectomy, particularly before kids, is very rare and not an outcome that consultants would recommend lightly. I ended up having mine when things got critical and had the potential to become life threatening which was a terrifying prospect.

In your shoes I would listen to your consultants as it sounds like you have very serious health issues. My heart goes out to you, it truly does. Losing your fertility is an awful thing, but better that than your life,

OP I would seriously consider it.

Like @JaneDidion, I had adenomyosis and I had a hysterectomy earlier this year. They took womb, cervix and fallopian tubes but left my ovaries. I had it done via laparoscopy and was out two days later. I had a bad UTI and one of my wound sites developed an infection, but honestly the surgery and recovery time were far less debilitating than I had imagined.

Not sure how old you are, I'm early 30s and I'm quite fit and active, so I also attribute those two things to my swift recovery. I never really experienced serious fatigue and I was back at the gym about 10 weeks later. Six months down the line, I've fully recovered and life is so much better than pre-surgery. It is honestly fantastic to not have periods anymore.

I'm not trying to make little of your news, because it is a huge decision to have to make, but I wanted to share my story so that you have some positives to consider as well.

Actually,I should also have said that my hysterectomy was the best thing I have ever done. It was a laparoscopic procedure and I was driving in 3 weeks and back at work in 5 weeks. The first week was uncomfortable (but the drugs took care of that) but all was ok after that. Since then, everything has been great and I look back on the adenomyosis years as a bit of a lost decade. You have an opportunity to not have the risk and pain that many of us suffer so there is a very positive outcome too.

Bottom line: you do not have to consent if you don’t want to. This is what they consider medically necessary, but it isn’t their decision, it’s yours.

They try to avoid this if possible, so I would think the consultant had very good reason to believe this is the best option.

You don't have to take their advice, OP.

I would take their advice but you are entitled to take another choice. You can also delay the decision & see how things go.

I'm sorry there's no very low risk option. Sometimes life is unfair like that.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I read every single one and I really appreciate your feedback. I am just a bit upset and shocked really but I understand where you are all coming from. The consultant would never have suggested it if he thought I didn't need it. It might not even come to that though (fingers crossed) but I will cross that bridge IF I end up having to cross it. Thank you all once again