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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Second birth

25 replies

painauchocolat84 · 23/09/2019 14:17

For those of you who had a second birth - did you find it easier than the first? Just been speaking to my doctor today and he’s simultaneously freaked me out and also calmed me down.

With my first birth, I was induced. I wasn’t feeling much pain - went from mild to average discomfort. I had heard friends tales of their labour going on for days, so I thought to myself - the pain isn’t that bad so I bet this is just the beginning and I’ll be one of the unlucky ones who labours for hours! So I asked for an epidural because I thought, if I’m gonna be here for hours I might as well get some sleep. An hour later - maybe an hour and a half tops - my baby was born. It wasn’t painless (my doctor said maybe the epidural didn’t kick in properly as it can take up to an hour to really work) but it wasn’t bad either. However I had an episiotomy, and forceps and didn’t really feel much so it must have worked enough!

He’s just said today that I probably won’t have time for an epidural this time around? He said second births are often so quick that even if I ask for one again, it won’t have time to kick in as second labour is usually so fast? I’m not in the UK so he said I can come to the hospital as early as I like (all private hospitals so you can sort of be more demanding!) - he said as soon as I feel regular contractions I can come in, regardless of the time between contractions/how dilated I am/whether or not they’re painful etc. he said I can ask for an epidural from the very beginning if I’m really keen to have one. Because he thinks that there’s a big chance that if I don’t come in immediately then I won’t have time for an epidural.

ANYWAY. My question is - was your second labour really fast? Did you have time for an epidural? (Or if you chose not to have one, would you have had time?) Did you find your second birth to be harder, easier, or much the same as the first?

I’m just generally curious about other people’s experiences because from what I’ve heard the second birth experience is often very different to the first!

OP posts:
Original poster
painauchocolat84 · 23/09/2019 14:18

Before anyone says “What’s your AIBU?” I’m gonna be honest and say that the only AIBU I can think of is “AIBU to shamelessly post in AIBU for traffic because every time I’ve ever posted on any other board I’ve never got more than two replies” Grin

OP posts:
BeanBag7 · 23/09/2019 14:20

Following because my first was only 4 hours so I'm concerned it will be very fast and planning a home birth this time.

However, based on my friends their second births were quicker but not super quick. E.g. 6hrs rather than 24hrs; 12hrs rather than 2 days etc. But not shooting out!

HeyMicky · 23/09/2019 14:22

My second was quicker because I knew "where" to push - 3 pushes and she was out. Much less tiring

RoyalChocolat · 23/09/2019 14:23

I had an epidural for DC1, who was induced.

For DC2, there was no time. I arrived at the hospital at 1:27AM and she was born at 1:43 Smile. It was very fast, quite painful, but with hindsight I felt much more in control.

I refused pain relief for all subsequent births.

Jeleste · 23/09/2019 14:25

I was induced both times.
First time i was in excruciating pain for 6h then they told me im 5cm.. i wasnt gonna go through another 6h of that and got an epidural. The whole birth took a bit more than 12h and was only mildy u comfortable after the epidural.
With my 2nd they put me on the drip and i had mild co tractions for about an hour. Then the painful contractions started and i asked for pain meds a bit later when the nurse told me its too late as its time to push. Took 3-4 pushes and DC was born. It was painful, but very quick.
I would pick my second birth experience over the first any day even though i had no painkillers at all!

theatrenerd31 · 23/09/2019 14:27

Ds1 was 17 hours, DS2 was 1hr 15mins. Both exactly the same weight, thought DS1 was back to back

IVEgottheDECAF · 23/09/2019 14:28

My second took just as long as my first. Third and fourth quicker. Fifth back to taking 12+ hours

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 23/09/2019 14:29

First was 19.5 hours
Second was logged as 12 minutes 😂 I was having niggles about an hour before that but as first took so long to arrive I ignored it until it was too late to get to hospital (or for an ambulance to reach me)

Probably not what you wanted to hear 😁

Oysterbabe · 23/09/2019 14:30

Mine was really fast, almost born in the car. No time for an epidural but I didn't need one anyway, he popped straight out no bother.

icannotremember · 23/09/2019 14:31

My second birth was fantastic. Best of the lot. Total labour was 2 hours 45 mins, second stage was just 4 minutes and a grand total of 3 pushes, pain never got unmanageable, recovery was really quick- honest to goodness within a few days I genuinely did not feel like I'd had a baby at all. I hadn't had a particularly bad first birth- total labour there had actually been a few minutes less, but I had pushed for an hour and ten minutes and found the pain really hard to manage, so in comparison...

MrsBungle · 23/09/2019 14:31

My first was 52 hours - second 2 hours! My second birth was much easier than my first. Good luck!

romany4 · 23/09/2019 14:34

My ds1 was a slow 33 hours back to back excruciating labour.
Ds2 was 22 hours but not back to back so much easier. Had gas and air with both as when I had my kids, epidural weren't common place and not available

JustMe81 · 23/09/2019 14:35

I was induced with my first. Total time from induction to baby was 11 hours but I went from 4cm to feeding baby within 20 minutes. I’ve been told to expect this baby to come quicker but I’m not really sure how it can be quicker. I’ve just decided to not worry about it until the time comes and hope that I don’t have the baby in the car or something.

mammyneedsmoresleep · 23/09/2019 14:37

With our daughter my waters had already went at 38+2 I was induced on the drip at 9am she was delivered at 7.16pm. Had the epidural and slept unless I was woken by the midwife then woke up again to be checked and time to push ! No tears or grazes :)

With our son I was induced at exactly 37 due to iugr. It was 31 very very long hours.... I opted for no pain relief then by the time I changed my mind it was to late ! However no tears or grazes again.
I have gained the nickname "flexy foof" amongst close friends 😂
My second birth was by far the worst! I just think our daughter was "ready" to come we're as with our boy he wasn't .

ParkheadParadise · 23/09/2019 14:40

With my first i was 19hrs.
With my second I was 40mins, I was visiting my mum in her care home my water's broke in the car park. I just made it to hospital when dd2 was born.
Good luck.

ScatteredMama82 · 23/09/2019 14:42

My first was 18 hours, resulting in forceps and episiotomy. It was horrendous (no epidural).

My second was 3 hours, just gas and air and not a stitch needed. It was remarkably quick.

ScatteredMama82 · 23/09/2019 14:44

...I should add that I wanted an epidural second time, as I was so terrified it was going to be as long and as difficult as the first. As soon as I walked into the delivery room for DS2, I asked for one - the midwife took a look at me and said 'no need, I can see your baby's head!'

sugarbum · 23/09/2019 14:46

Mine were very different. My first was an undiagnosed breech, which was horrendous and not 'normal' I wasn't feeling normal contractions. Just constant pain. I was totally bewildered with no clue as to what was going on.

Both were fairly quick. I think from first twinge to birth for DC1 was about 3.5 hours. So no time for epidurals for either.

Second time took about 4.5 hours. He had a big head, which stung a bit (!) and I'd been given blood thinners due to blood clot worries (try not to give birth they said, even though I was 40+3) but everything was fine. And normal. I finally understood what they meant when they said push during a contraction.

I had small episiotomies for both, neither of which I felt or bothered me.

mummy915 · 23/09/2019 14:47

Following as I'm due my 2nd in 2 weeks also had epidural with DD and as mad as it sounds the actual giving birth/pushing baby out terrifies me and is one of my worst fears! Luckily I had epidural with daughter! Xx

Mammyloveswine · 23/09/2019 14:49

My second was a water birth, was amazing!

2 hours compared to 9 for the first!

Tonnerre · 23/09/2019 14:50

First was very high-tech, induction, epidural, episiotomy, forceps, stitches, roughly 24 hours. Second was not induced, probably around three hours till we went to hospital and she was born an hour after we got there, no episiotomy, no stitches. When they told me there wasn't time for an epidural I admit to a moment of panic, but actually it wasn't that bad and I was extremely grateful not to have stitches.

EyeDrops · 23/09/2019 14:50

Going against the grain, my second was longer and harder. But I think it was due to baby's size - she was bigger than my first (10lb+) and she just couldn't get down the birth canal. I know plenty of women birth bigger babies than that naturally, by my hips just did not want to!

If she'd been smaller? Who knows!

Bucatini · 23/09/2019 14:51

My first was 28 hours and my second was 3.5 hours (from the first contraction). I had an epidural for my first but just gas and air for my second. The first one was worse!

NotSoThinLizzy · 23/09/2019 14:53

My 1st was 6 hours and my 2nd was 5 hours so not a huge difference. But there was an 8 year gap between them.

December2019 · 23/09/2019 15:31

My first was 19 hours back to back pain, failed epidural, and in the end forceps...
due number 2 in 13 weeks so I'm gonna follow as I'm quite interested in other people's experiences, as I'm really quite scared lol

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