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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

my lord im broody

3 replies

22andgettingimpatient · 23/09/2019 11:46

so much like a couple of you on here I am also at the age of 22 and for some reason my body has gone into overdrive and I am so wanting of a child or two of my own.

Bit of background; I have just graduated from uni and start my dream job/career next month (October 2019). I have been with my OH for just over a year now but previous to that I was in a long, hard realtionship of four years which in the end was showing major cracks and emotional abuse (to me, not him). I had envisioned a life with my ex, marriage, kids and buying a house and creating our life together however whenever these conversations were brought about he would never discuss or add an opinion he would only sit and 'listen', if you could call it that or completely zone out and then change the subject.

Fast forward to my current relationship, we moved very fast, we met at my mates wedding and its bloomed magnificently until now, and still is growing into a loving, affectionate caring strong relationship. We have spoken numerous times about getting married and having children and I think if we were to fall pregnant tomorrow we would be smiling however there is one big problem, we dont have our own place; well, we do but for the moment its a static caravan in his parents garden of which we are paying peanuts to live in.
Secondly I have only just begun my dream job and I want to settle into my career first before having children, also this factors in to how long we would have to save for out own and we have worked out if we save regularly we would be out in about two and a half to three years. So not long at all and as soon as we have moved into said home we would start trying for a baby so really not that long and it really excited us both.

So reasons why I KNOW im broody; Firstly there are a lot of women my age of whom I know or know of are having children and even second babies and it makes me extremely jealous. My partner and I have one very close friend and he and his partner are expecting end of November and to watch them go through pregnancy and the excitement that it brings has spurred on conversations from weekly to daily about having our own.

We know we would not be short of help when it does finally happen, so really all that is stopping us is having our own place and for me to settle into dream job, he is already in a fantastic career earning a good wage that supports us both as I am currently low on shifts at work.

I find myself watching all the baby programmes; one born every minute, teen mum etc. I find myself wondering into baby stores such as mothercare and spending hours in there just imagining what I would buy and the feeling I would get from doing this, it all excited me . I have been trawling mumsnet to read stories and it makes me feel excited and extremely jealous at the same time. I see my friends that have babies and try more often than not to get involved with 'caring' for them without outstaying my welcome. I am there as a helping hand and also to see the reality of having a child which quite honestly does not put me off.

So I think emotionally both me and my partner (same age btw 22) are ready for a baby however our current lifestyle is far from okay, for me anyway, there is no way I would have a baby in a second hand, renovated, old caravan; theres no space and I dread to think about the health saftey of it, I mean its either an ice box or a freaking sauna.

My partner and I love eachother very much and we are extremely committed to eachother there are no worries or issues there.

Just very broody and now that I think about it, it is starting to get me down but I dont want it to get so bad that I begin to sound and look desperate because I am fully aware of what steps need to happen before any babies and we have done the maths, hours and hours of maths working out what we need to save etc.

just broody broody, so freaking broody.

OP posts:
Venger · 23/09/2019 12:10

How long have you been together? Because, in my experience anyway, broodiness and the first flushes of love/infatuation/lust often go hand in hand. It's like your brain gets a little shot of love endorphins and tells you "Quick! Procreate!"

You've plenty of time for babies, they're lovely but hard work and that hard work is less stressful if you're in a comfortable position before having them.

valleysareus · 23/09/2019 12:17

You start a new job next month and you've only been together a year slow your horses down. Having a child is a massive life change. Maybe throw yourself in a new hobby too.

Skysblue · 23/09/2019 12:19

It’s perfectly natural that you’re broody. Our culture bullies women into postponing babies until later and later, yet every previous generation in human history did it in the woman’s early twenties (or even younger) because that was physically best for both mother and baby...

I’m not saying do it right now, I don’t know if that’s practical for you. But I do expect a whole bunch of people will tell you that you’re too young and that is just not true: your body is the perfect age to be a mother and it’s only natural that you want a baby now.

I’m pretty bitter about it all, having been with my husband since age 20 but didn’t try for a baby until early 30s for career / cultural pressure reasons. So we were only able to have one child before my eggs all stopped working. I’m gutted we didn’t have children a decade earlier as then my child might have been able to have brothers and sisters.

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