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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want dh to get the chickenpox vaccine before dc is born?

78 replies

OlgaPolga45 · 23/09/2019 08:39

We’re currently expecting our first dc.

Dh has never had chickenpox. I want him to get the vaccine before dc is born; he thinks I’m being over dramatic.

My reasoning - chickenpox in adults is usually a much more severe illness, and his chance of catching it will surely increase once we have a child of our own (given the rate it spreads at among children).

Even if we vaccinate our own dc against chickenpox - which I will do as soon as they are old enough - his chance of coming into contact with a contagious child will surely be higher as a parent. E.g. soft play centres, class parties, play dates etc...

He thinks that if he hasn’t caught it yet, he must already have ‘sufficient immunity’. He has two siblings, both of whom had chickenpox at the same time, and he didn’t catch it from either of them (despite MIL’s best efforts), so reckons he’s already immune. I’d rather be safe and make sure.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Themountainsarecalling · 23/09/2019 15:58

I thought I was immune to chickenpox as I didn't get it as a child, despite having been exposed to it multiple times.

Turned out that I wasn't, as I caught it from oldest DC who picked it up at nursery. I happened to be pregnant at the time and thankfully I got it at the 'right' time, as chickenpox in a pregnant woman can cause problems with the baby at both the beginning and end stages of pregnancy.

I was absolutely covered in spots and it was awful, far worse than than DC had it. I ended up being off work for over a month, I took two weeks annual leave to look after DC while they crusted over and recovered, and then I was off sick for at least two weeks afterwards while I got over it myself.

Before I caught chickenpox, I had no idea of the problems it can cause for an unborn baby and I don't believe that the vaccine was even available then. Generally, all the adults I've known who have got chickenpox when older have all had a far worse case than children, so on that basis alone I'd think it was a good idea for vaccinating an adult who'd not had it. I'd far rather have gone and had the vaccine than have the pain I went through. At the end of the day, though, you can't force an adult to do anything. All you can do is explain the consequences of their (non) action.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:01

@Navy123
Sorry, i see I was not clear. I was trying to say that shingles in an adult is like a mild case of CP in an adult. Not that shingles is like mild CP as in what a child with CP would experience. In short, it’s preferable to get shingles compared to CP if you are an adult.

QueenofPain · 23/09/2019 16:02

@DoctorAllcome Unless the OP’s husband is pregnant or immunocompromised there is no reason for him to be tested, he might as well just have the vaccine and remove all doubt. Testing is adding an extra unnecessary step to the process.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:05

@Navy123
“DoctorAllcome exposure to CP does not trigger shingles in people who have already had CP - if anything there is some evidence to show that exposure to the CP virus if you've previously had it can reduce your risk of shingles emerging. ”

Ah, in this case we are both right. Exposure to CP can trigger shingles if the person is immunologically fatigued, as in run down (which I did mention). If the person is not immunologically fatigued (the scenario you are describing), CP exposure boosts their immunity decreasing chance of shingles.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:10

@QueenofPain
Surely it I should his decision whether to be vaccinated or not?
I recommended the immunity test so that the OP and her DH could be at least on the same page regarding whether he is immune. Right now, he thinks he is and doesn’t want the vaccine. But she has doubts.

A compromise is to suggest to her DH he get tested.

I agree if I were in her DHs shoes I would just get the vaccine, but it is his body, his choice and he has to consent. He is far more likely to consent if tested and found to not be immune ad she is far more likely to be comfortable with him not being vaccinated if he is found to be immune. I don’t think a simple blood test is an unnecessary step because it would ensure marital harmony and respect for both OPs and her DHs points of view.

QueenofPain · 23/09/2019 16:10

@doctor

You’ve got that the wrong way round. You cannot catch shingles off anyone ever, your body does that on its own.

If you’ve never had chicken pox, then you can catch chicken pox from someone who has active shingles. Shingles blisters contain live chicken pox virus.

QueenofPain · 23/09/2019 16:12

It will just cost them a lot more money to mess about with private blood testing and then a private vaccine rather than just getting the vaccine straight up.

Because i’m sure all these people can’t be suggesting they ask for a chicken pox blood test for a fit healthy man from the NHS...?!

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:13

All the explaining in the world about how bad CP is for an adult isn’t going to make an impression on a person that sincerely believes they are immune.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:15

@QueenofPain
Please reread my posts as I did not say that a person could “catch” shingles from a person with chicken pox.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:18

@QueenofPain
And why can’t they ask their GP? Another poster said she was in the exact same position, her GP authorized the test on the NHS and they were immune.

QueenofPain · 23/09/2019 16:20

Yeah, I’ve no idea why the OP’s dh is being such a dick about it, tbh.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:22

@QueenofPain
Here it is:
WifeofDarth Mon 23-Sep-19 09:34:55
We had the same situation I our family, dh hadn't had cp. Dc had it when he was away (conveniently) so he escaped that time. When we had another dc I had baby vaccinated. Dh finally went to GP, she said that she wasn't sure if vaccine was available for adults but we didn't need to investigate that as it turned out he had antibodies already. Knowing this has been a huge weight off my mind as I've heard how awful adult CP is.

So actually, it is possible that while the immunity test is available on NHS, the CP vaccine for adults is not. So why advocate them spending money getting a CP vaccine privately when a free test can tell them whether they even need to do that or not?

Drabarni · 23/09/2019 16:23

We used to have CP parties when ours were little. They'd all had them by 5, has it mutated to be even worse now? I never knew anyone with any serious illness.
I don't have little kids, but have friends none of whom are vaccinating against CP it's a normal childhood illness ffs.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:27

LOL. Dick is a bit harsh. Stubborn is more how I would describe both of them. Because he equally could be right, and if he is right and he is immune, then a harsh term for the OP would be paranoid.

QueenofPain · 23/09/2019 16:37

Doctor

The PP didn’t say they’d specifically checked for it during that episode of care. The GP could have just noticed it in his pathology record from a previous inpatient admission where it was relevant or when he’d been seen by a speciality or something like that. I see patients who have had ITU admissions who have had all kinds of weird and wonderful blood panels sent off to special labs the opposite end of the country to check for certain things when they’re trying to find out what’s wrong with someone, e.g. presenting with Encephalitis.

The NICE guidelines don’t support testing for immunity randomly in otherwise healthy adults.

QueenofPain · 23/09/2019 16:39

With adults, like another PP said, the NHS has a “ shrug if you get sick you get sick” attitude in relation to CP.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:41

@Drabarni
Quite. No CP has not gotten worse. It is an illness that is milder in children than in adults. But it is still a killer and miserable to suffer through.
The vaccine is required here in the US before they start day care or first grade at the latest. This is mostly because lots of young adults do not have any health insurance so they put this as a childhood vaccine to prevent young adults getting very very sick/ dying from chickenpox.

I think in U.K. it is not a required vaccine? But that pregnant women can get the vaccine if they have never had CP or been vaccinated themselves because of birth defect risks.?

campion · 23/09/2019 16:44

Just leave him to it. When he gets CP from your DC down the line, he'll have time to reflect on his decision not to get the vaccine. He won't die but he'll sure feel like it's going to happen (ime)

I'm pretty sure he'll decide it was the wrong call...but sometimes you just can't tell 'em!

ChilledBee · 23/09/2019 16:46

Hospitalization rates were approximately 2 to 3 per 1,000 cases among healthy children and 8 per 1,000 cases among adults. Death occurred in approximately 1 in 60,000 cases. From 1990 through 1996, an average of 103 deaths from varicella were reported each year. Most deaths occur in immunocompetent children and adults.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 16:48

@QueenofPain
WifeofDarth said specifically that he had the antibodies already. There is no possible way to determine that without a specific blood test for those varicella antibodies. Yes, he may have had the test years ago when getting a full blood work but the dr would have had to list it as a specific test on the blood panel list.

Drabarni · 23/09/2019 16:49

Thanks, was trying to work out why vaccinations are so important now.
So what about Shingles, my ds had CP as a child and Shingles at 19.
He was off work for 6 weeks and very ill, hospitalised at one point. Is there not more of a risk of shingles if immunised against CP.
Sorry for the naivety, mine are all much older now.

Newmumma83 · 23/09/2019 16:54

I am with op I have never had chicken pox and I am not immune I know because I came into contact with it while pregnant ...I costed the nhs £1000 for a jab to increase my ability to fight off illness’s I want to gr try jab but finances are not where they need to be 🙄 x x

WifeofDarth · 23/09/2019 16:58

It was our NHS GP who suggested the blood test for antibodies. No issue about the cost - I guess she saw it as a means of looking after the family's well being. She didn't seem surprised or resistant to looking after this aspect of DH's wellbeing.

DoctorAllcome · 23/09/2019 17:24

@Drabarni
“what about Shingles, my ds had CP as a child and Shingles at 19.
He was off work for 6 weeks and very ill, hospitalised at one point. Is there not more of a risk of shingles if immunised against CP.”

No, there wasn’t/isn’t increased risk of shingles with the CP vaccine. What is true is that the effectiveness averages around 80% immunity with one dose. So of 100% vaccinated, 20% can still get what is called break through varicella (type of shingles). 15% will have mild cases, but an unlucky 5% will have cases as serious as if they had caught full on CP. Sounds like your DS as in the unlucky 5%.

Judging by your DS age, it is likely he only had a single dose of the CP vaccine. Here in the US we moved to two doses in 2005- so vaccine plus booster a few months later to improve the effectiveness of the immunity.
If you have time or inclination, this is a good epidemiological study describing the above in more detail.
cmr.asm.org/content/23/1/202

bruffin · 23/09/2019 17:26

Its not just deaths although a healthy parent n dcs nursery died from CP.
A healthy friends of ds had a stroke from Cp at 6 years old,

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