Not sure if I’m overreacting or being overbearing or controlling, so was hoping for some opinions from neutral parties.
My husband smoked for about 10 years when we were in our late teens in our 20’s. We dated long distance for around 5 years. I’ve never been a fan of the smoking and he wouldn’t have smoked at all when he came to stay with me or when I stayed with him.
He hasn’t been a smoker now for around 5 years since we started living together, thought I know when he travels to see friends he will sometimes have a smoke.
He has been stressed at work over the last month and has a deadline coming up at the end of this week. He smoked a few weeks ago which I was a bit annoyed about, because we are also trying for a baby.
I am probably overly anxious about TTC and explained that smoking is bad for fertility. He was skeptical. He smoked again after this discussion and we sort of had a bit of a fall out at the time because I’m really eager to get pregnant and I feel like he is indifferent.
When he came to bed on Friday i could smell smoke in his beard but said nothing, and he has just said he’s going to go out for a smoke because he’s stressed. I would prefer if he didn’t smoke but he says it isn’t really a joint decision. I guess that’s fair enough.
Am I just being over controlling because I’m stressed about trying to get pregnant or am I justified in feeling disappointed that he doesn’t really consider that my feelings about this are as valid as his being stressed about a deal at work?
Sorry this is so long and rambling. Just to be clear we have been talking about TTC for a while and had agreed a timescale for starting to try it just happens that this has fallen into a busy time for him.
Do I just let it go for another week and assume he will stop once this process is done? He says smoking and trying for a baby are entirely separate things, I’m not sure how to properly articulate my feelings because I feel like I’m being a bit stupid.