To ask you why I can't make a decision

[CupidIsFired]

My mum has offered to babysit DD for me to go on holiday. 2 of my friends are going away in a couple of weeks and want me to go, I said no but my mum has told me to go. I've had a pretty shit time since DD was born, me ex left when I was pregnant, then after DD was born he wanted to know her, then a few months ago he decided he didn't want to be in her life (She's 16 months now) I've had counselling for PND, had to go into hospital for something too. I work 3 days a week 11 hour shifts, the only time I am not with DD is when I'm at work (which is fine I'm not complaining as she is my child of course) but I don't have any friends here so I don't go out. My days off work are spent at, softplay/swimming lessons for DD/toddler classes. I have been on holiday this year and paid for DM to come too and she looked after DD overnight for me to go out a couple times. But I put DD to bed and then woke up at the same time as DD in the morning.

So one part of my mind is like, this sounds great, I could go and just have a bit of fun and not have to worry about anything for a few days and relax.
The other part of me is like no, what if something happens or what if I don't enjoy it.
I'm not used to not having DD around, I find myself feeling lost if she's not here (rare occasion) I keep worrying about things happening and me being so far away. I struggle a little with anxiety so it's putting me off going. Also the place I would be going to is where DDs father is from although he's not there anymore, I know alot of people there and they know DD and will ask where she is and I I will feel like a bad parent, even though I wouldn't never think anyone was a bad parent for having a little holiday.
My friends are going for 10 days but I would only go for 4.... if I went.

Also would DD forget me? she is comfortable around my mum as my mum looks after her while I'm at work so I know my mum can look after her with no problems.
Why can't I make a decision. Usually I love a holiday and never say no, so the fact I'm so undecided tells me I shouldn't go. That's my way of thinking anyway. But my friends and mum think otherwise.

Someone give me some advice or opinion.

Should I go, or play it safe and stay home?

Personally I'd go, but only for a week max. Dd will be fine without you, but you'll miss her like mad.

I often go away without my DC, I also spend a lot of time with them. Lots of people will disagree with this but its actually how I survive. I can only be a good parent if I also look after myself.

If you want to go you should go and not worry about what other people will think. Your DD will not forget you.

She will definitely not forget you in four days!

You're having trouble deciding what to do because you are used to being with her and you love her, but you are self-aware enough to realise that raising a child is tough and a break is needed from time to time.

This sounds like a lovely opportunity but if you're not ready then say "thank you but not just yet" to your friends and mum.

Looks like my decision has been made for me. Prices have shot right up since the fall of Thomas cook this morning. Doubt I'll be able to afford the prices other companies are asking for now as they've doubled in price. But I feel for the staff who no longer have a job