Alcoholic MIL (mother in law)

[MummyKnipe]

My mother in-law is a nasty piece of work.
She drinks. Well let's just says an alcoholic, she spends most of her money on alcohol.

When I was pregnant. She wished our son dead, then she called him a retard. Denied the texts and said it was me or Jay (her son editing her texts.) She said I should let it get go. I mean how do you let something that big go?
So I bit my tongue. She behaved for a while and I watched her behaviour. I'm not letting her screw up my son's life like she did like with my husband.
Anyway in March. She was drunk (no surprise there.) She asked is she all worth seeing our son for an hour every 2 months. I told her everything I thought about her. She said I love him but I would preferred a granddaughter instead.
She hasn't seen him since March. But is demanding pictures. I told my husband, she can never pictures.
Am I doing the right thing here?
Or am I being bossy of my husband? Like MIL says I am.

YANBU. Families fall out, but wishing your son dead? Unless there's a marked change in her behaviour and sincere apologies, she should be kept away. I'd encourage her to seek help for her drinking.

She wished our son dead, then she called him a retard

In what context was this said? Not that it matters but I’m just trying to get my head around how this conversation panned out.

I can’t imagine ever speaking or seeing someone who’d said anything like that. It’s just unforgivable.

Firstly we have to realise she’s had an illness, however that absolutely does not condone her vile behaviour.

I’d fight my corners, your child is also your dh child and your MIL is your dh mother, no harm in sending photos once a while.

Pic your battles.

She's appalling; she shouldn't be anywhere near your son.

Agree with pp “what’s the harm in sending photos” would it hurt you or hurt your son? She’s behaved abominably and she shouldn’t be allowed direct contact with your son but I would send her a photo or two a few times a year.

But she told me to go back when I came from. When we was arguing if she felt like that, she obviously wasn't too concerned about her grandson.
I love my son, she can slag me all she likes but don't hurt my child.
I don't want him to be one thing she picks up and decides ruins with her alcohol and then leaves.

I totally agree entirely that alcohol is illness. On the first Christmas my son was born she didn't buy him anything, saying he didn't/deserve need anything. But got tons of stuff for her dog

Honestly OP, I think I would just steer clear. It’s very sad for her but she sounds poisonous. I’m certain no good will ever come from having any contact ( including sending photos ) with her.

She was drunk and said over the phone and send in a text.

She put a I hate your baby. He will never accepted, I wish he was dead.

Then.

She was drunk..

When we at my husband's aunties.
She was drunk again.
She was calling everyone who there retards and said our son the biggest one cause he born via C-section

Horrendous. It’s unforgivable in my eyes. No way back, no photos, no nothing.

Whilst I appreciate alcoholism is a serious issue why are you even engaging with this woman? If she is unwilling to get help for her addiction then back away and protect your DC

And no pictures

I haven't spoken to her since March. She's asked my husband if she can pictures. I said heck no. He agreed. What her think that she could?

She sounds awful and I agree with your stance