To want DH to back down or say sorry when he is wrong

[EtonMessed]

Everytime there's a disagreement DH has to 'win'. We've been together 25 years and it's getting worse.
He left washing in the machine for two days but the sour smell was because of the type of washing powder.
I suggested he gave me his passport details before travelling in remote China but this was silly because he has it stored on his laptop and his cloud.
I argued the first one but backed down on the passport - what's the best tactic in these cases? I'm beginning to dread raising any issue.

He may feel you have to win every argument. Leaving Washing for 2 days is annoying but not the end of the world.

Leaving washing for 2 days and not saying oops that was silly of me is ridiculous.

No its not the end of the world but blaming washing powder (that op bought?) for what was his mistake is vv annoying.

If he wants to get lost in remote China with no passport or internet I'd leave him to it tbh

The washing is no big deal, it was the insistence that Persil had made a dodgy batch. (Perhaps I should have escalated it by phoning the customer helpline).

It just depressing that if he has to win on these trivial points how can I raise anything more tricky. I'm stuck like Eliza Doolittle talking about health & weather. (Although it took him 48 hours to ask about a recent, rare hospital appointment)

He’s got the ultra-alpha approach. It’s totally unfair but not very unusual. Men hate to admit they’re wrong but especially to women 🤷‍♀️ If it bothers you perhaps tease him sometime about it when you’re both in a good mood, along the lines of “funny but in all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never admitted to once being wrong about anything!” He won’t take it well though.

(Almost every romance novel has a big scene at the climax when the hero admits what a fool he’s been, I reckon this is why romance outsells every other genre... Women long to see a man admit he’s wrong gracefully! Seems to be the domain of fiction unfortunately...)

My DH can be similar - I blame his mother as it’s the way she bought both her boys up. After discussing it with my SIL I found the best way was to use an example of when BIL had done something similar and talk about it with DH in a lighthearted way. Then I gradually introduced the idea that actually he could do the same. He sort of accepted it and will sometimes admit that he is in the wrong. I make sure I admit when I’m in the wrong and pick my battles!

Perhaps I need a husband wrangling book " how to talk so your husband will listen & listen so...." or put him on a timetable with " the little contented husband book".

I've made a point of modelling good behaviour, really emphasising having a laugh when you say 'i've got it wrong' but it's not sunk in with him (the kids have nailed it) perhaps it's just a stage he's going through