...to ask Mumsnetters to give better relationship advice than the Times

[Binting]

The problem below was posed in the Tough Love section of the Times magazine today:

Q. “After many “wilderness years”, I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman. I’m 60 and realise we all have a past, but I find it inexplicable that she had a 17-year relationship with a man for whom she only ever had a mobile number — never visited his home, never met his children or siblings. Yet her daughters looked upon him as a father figure, even though he never contacted them again after the relationship ended. Her eldest expresses a desire to reignite contact with him and views me as an interloper. This is creating difficulties as my partner tries to balance her daughter’s emotions with our relationship. I feel we are being dictated to by a relationship that never truly existed.”

I’m not sure of the advice given by Emma Barnett’s so wondered “what would MN advise..?”

I would probably say she is with a controlling man who is a bit weirdly obsessed with her past relationship. I would tell this man to get a grip.

Need to know how old the children are and how long he's been in a relationship with this woman. His role is of a step parent which isn't often easy and takes time. Sounds like the woman has been the OW to a married man for 17 years so I wouldn't trust her judgement much. Also this guy has been single for years so probably not used to compromising.