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Original poster

Tablet / PC rules ....

27 replies

FeelingSad2 · 22/09/2019 09:25

What are your rules for the tablet / PC ?

We have a 5 & 7 year old and haven't got it right yet!! We have tried

-No tablet/PC on school days
-No tablet/PC in mornings (current method)
-Tablet/PC as reward
-Tablet/PC with set hours for the day
-No tablet/PC next day if whining/crying/moaning when asked to put it away
-No tablet/PC rules (that was a complete nightmare! As they obviously have to go to bed, go to school, etc..)
-and more....

What has worked/ does work in your house??

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Original poster
FeelingSad2 · 22/09/2019 09:28

Anyone? (I was hoping tablet/PC problems were universal, but maybe it's only a problem for my two SadBlush)

OP posts:
theWarOnPeace · 22/09/2019 09:53

Going to be a dick here, but my children don’t have them. Everyone I know has tablet dramas. I’ve just never had this issue. My kids go off and play or read because there’s no option of a tablet. We’ve never introduced them so haven’t had to go cold turkey... I get that that would be difficult. I just don’t see them as an essential and intrinsic part of childhood. Tablets are shit for kids IMO. There’s nothing educational on there that they can’t learn in other ways. Mostly they just play or watch crap anyway. I realise this is considered extreme these days, but if I were you I’d be saying they’re broken and can’t be replaced. Go and play.

LoisLittsLover · 22/09/2019 09:55

Same as pp - dd has no tablet access. Don't see the benefits at 5

MrsElizabethShelby · 22/09/2019 09:57

Sorry but same as @thewaronpeace. Our eldest DC occasionally has 30 minutes Minecraft or cbeebies games if it's terrible out and he has done everything else or if he has been particularly lovely.

But it's never been a default option so he hardly ever asked for it.

LuckyAmy1986 · 22/09/2019 09:57

Same here, DCs are 5 and 6 and don’t have tablets/tablet access. Mine play or read in their downtime.

coconuttelegraph · 22/09/2019 10:00

No tablets here either and personally I find the concept of rules in families a bit odd. My DC watch TV and play on a console, if I think they've been doing it too long I ask them to stop and do something else.

My eldest child has now left school and we've ever had any screens before school, I grew up before technology and have mostly brought my DC up in the same way that I was with regard to screens

MrsElizabethShelby · 22/09/2019 10:01

My advice OP is to take them away permanently. Deal with the fallout.

Within a couple of weeks they won't ask.

It will mean you have to parent though, show them alternatives like crafts or read books to them or play cars/dolls.

Youngest DC currently playing with their kitchen and bringing me various culinary delights to sample and eldest DC building a toy house from card and boxes.

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 22/09/2019 10:01

We have a reward jar. They need to earn 6 stars for 45mins screen time. Rewards are for: being kind and sharing, eating all dinner without complaint, tidying up, sleeping all night in own bed, getting to school without complaining, etc.
For 3 stars they can have a treat food but they always want 6 stars for tablet time.
It also means they don't have it too long. Saves whinging and arguing for tablet.
They also have it for long car journeys.

Areyoufree · 22/09/2019 10:02

Meh. I don’t see a problem with tablets. My kids watch programmes that they would watch on tv anyway, plus seek out documentaries. My daughter was telling me all about how elephant dung is used to make paper the other day, and my son’s knowledge of animals is amazing. I also had a rule with my daughter that she had to do at least one Duolingo lesson before she could use the iPad. Our rules are: no screens while eating, on a school day, they have to be dressed, teethed brushed and ready to go before they are allowed screens. We tend to be quite busy on the weekends, so I don’t have a problem with them looking at tablets in their down time.

itsme · 22/09/2019 10:03

My dd gets a set time on an evening, but if we get bad behaviour (not listening, not tidying toys etc) she gets it taken off for the day or a couple of days. As for the laptop, we have activities from school that they earn certificates and rewards, so for us that is a bit different.

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 22/09/2019 10:04

But they are much calmer if they don't have the option of the tablet. So going cold turkey for a week is better. Take it to work for a week so you're not tempted to give in.

melj1213 · 22/09/2019 10:06

Maybe give people more than 3 minutes to respond before assuming your issue is not universal ...

As for rules, my DD 11 has always had the rule that there is no tablet/TV in the morning (we dont have time anyway) and on school nights she gets her tablet for half an hour in the evening,and only once her homework/chores are done. If she needs it for homework then she can have it but otherwise it's in my possession.

She can also gain/lose tablet time depending on behaviour. I dont take it away full stop as that didn't work as a punishment, but she gets 30 minutes and bad behaviour means she loses 5 minute increments and good behaviour means she earns 5 minute increments. That way she can lose her privilege but also has the opportunity to earn it back.

At weekends she has more free reign and I dont limit her time if we're just having a home day as it means I can get on with housework etc without her complaining, but this is rare as she's usually at hobbies, clubs or out playing with friends. She still has to ask though and she still only gets to have it when her chores/homework is done and I reserve the right to take it away if it's not done.

theWarOnPeace · 22/09/2019 10:06

Glad I’m not the only one. I always feel like I’m in the minority in not having tablets.

Verytubbycustard · 22/09/2019 10:07

My oldest (7) is allowed 10 minutes a day at weekends, and it has to be after breakfast and before dinner. We set an alarm and he seems happy with that at the moment.

Meltedicicle · 22/09/2019 10:09

Mine are older than yours. They prefer TV to tablets. I’ve always said no screens on weekday mornings at all-by the time they’ve eaten breakfast, got uniforms on and brushed teeth etc there’s little time anyway. After school I’m more chilled. DD1 has SEN and after school is shattered so she will get changed, have a snack and then watch TV or iPad until tea time. DD2 will read, do piano practice and has an after school activity on one of the days so she will do those and then watch a bit of TV-we don’t have a set rule as such but they always ask me if they can watch it and I decide based on weather/what else they’ve been doing etc. On a weekday neither of them have any screens after tea, we go for a walk or read together etc. Weekends really vary, they usually do homework first and quite often we do things like go swimming or to NT properties or walking so we are out a lot of the day. I’m then happy for them to have screen time when we get back if they want. It works for us and I think it’s a good balance. They’re happy to turn off the screens when I ask and I think that’s because I usually give a 5 min warning and because most of their screen time is before tea, they’re hungry so it’s a bit more motivating than if I was asking them to turn off to have a bath or do homework!

joblotbubble · 22/09/2019 10:10

@MrsElizabethShelby

You feeling ok up there Hmm

joblotbubble · 22/09/2019 10:12

I never restricted use, but I never had to. Making harsh rules that they can only use something for X minutes at Y time would just encourage mine to fixate on it. As it happens it's free choice here and they sometimes choose tablet just as they sometimes choose other things. If there were an issue I would be concerned to restrict, but free play works for us.

Crinklesmile · 22/09/2019 10:13

We have no tablets

  • 12yo has a phone. It stays downstairs during homework, then down for the night at half past 8
  • the computer is down stairs, its for homework only
Xbox is after dinner/homework and weekends only. Same for Netflix

5yo has no access to the computer or xbox. Netflix is from 3-5pm during the week, and from 3pm on weekends
She also isn't allowed to use our phones, at all.
Car journeys are radio, and chat as they are both prone to car sickness!

MrsElizabethShelby · 22/09/2019 10:16

At least your seeking advice OP, I have a friend who's DC is glued to an iPad. Litterally all day.
She falls asleep with it in her bed, she watches it when she eats and when she tries to speak to her mum she gets handed the tablet. Sad to say that she is WAY behind her peers developmentally in both motor skills and speech.

There are either issues but the lack of engagement with her family is so so sad.

She brought her round for a playdate once and told me in detail how to work the tablet before she left.

When I closed the door I switched it off and put it away in her daughter's bag. The poor girl just didn't know what to do. My eldest had to teach her how to play!

sirfredfredgeorge · 22/09/2019 10:17

(I was hoping tablet/PC problems were universal, but maybe it's only a problem for my two sadblush)

I think the missing thing is that you've not said what the "problems" you're having are, so solutions to unknown problems are quite difficult to provide. Is it that you don't like them using them at all? (easy take them away) Is that they break them (easy, when they break they're gone) Is that you think you should have some arbitrary time limits for some reason?

Probably the first thing for me that would help me understand your problem would be explaining how "no PC rules" caused problems going to school or bed - since they are unrelated specifically to PC's any more than if the kid decided not to do those things because they were composing symphonies.

MrsElizabethShelby · 22/09/2019 10:20

@joblotbubble smashing thanks! The view is great. 🙂

zxcvhjkl · 22/09/2019 10:21

Reward chart all the way. Use a chart with clear tasks and reward stickers - they earn stickers - x amount of stickers is 30 mins is earned. Make it visual and the tasks achievable this way they will be productive in other ways first (put away toys, draw a picture, do homework, etc) so tablet doesn't become default way to occupy time. Typically the tasks on our reward chart are completed over the day, so tablet time ends up being after dinner, but before reading and bath time and ending a decent amount before bedtime to stop sleep. If ending tablet time is the problem, maybe use a sand timer, a countdown timer etc or make one of the sticker rewards "ending tablet time with no complaints"
The first few days will be hard going but once they get the concept of it, it should work.

Personally we have a tablet set up with no web browsing access, just age appropriate videos and educational games. So even when they're on the tablet they're learning they just don't realise.

pikapikachu · 22/09/2019 10:34

You need to be more specific about what the problem is. Do they tantrum when time is up? Are they always looking for the tablet and will take it without permission ? Are they obsessed with YouTube and can't discuss anything that's not YT related? Would they rather watch YT than play with a friend (ie addicted)?

As others said have you considered no tablets at all for a while? Exceptions would have to be made if they get online homework like mymaths though.

HappyParent2000 · 22/09/2019 10:38

Nothing school mornings, evenings after all post school stuff sorted.

I’m waiting for mine to be old enough to game with me, still a good few years.

I don’t think it’s good to use tablets and PCs as reward as that just sets a child up to become addicted.

Far better to build them into a solid routine as a way to have fun.

Needcoffeeimmediatley · 22/09/2019 10:45

We do no TV/computer/tablet in the mornings on school days.

1 hour of screen time is allowed per day unless he's been a little shite naughty.

He's allowed to choose how he spends his hour.

Usually chooses 30 minutes TV and 30 minutes of PC, we use a kitchen timer so he can check how long he had left etc.

DS is 7 btw and has ASD so gets obsessed with things and screen time can be a real battle but with properly enforced rules it works for us.

I use parental controls so he can't go on anything unsuitable and his latest 'thing' is to edit videos that he's made so could be a lot worse!