AIBU, childhood best friend has anxiety.

[Okmama]

Quite badly, so much so she hasn’t really left her home other than to go to work in a few years. I really do feel for her, it must be shit watching life pass you by & feeling stuck. I’ve suffered mild anxiety in the past but do find it hard to fully understand it on her level & what to do to help other than be a listening ear.

My issue is, I find it all quite emotionally draining when I visit/speak with her. As far as I can see, she’s making little effort to help herself & is more self pitying and accepting this is her lot in life now. She’s given up.

She’s just changed completely, is very negative & cynical about everything. Any joy I try to bring to a conversation she shuts down & turns it into something bad. I don’t want our friendship to be something else she loses due to anxiety & I don’t want to lose her either - but in a way I already feel like I have.

AIBU to just feel like distancing myself because I literally feel like the life is sucked out of me for 24 hours after a visit?! I do feel like an arse hole, but she needs professional help & wont seek it. How will it ever change?

Are you sure it's just anxiety? From what you've described, it sounds to me as if she could have (fairly severe) depression too. Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand, and can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I understand that it can be hard to cope with people with a mindset like your friend's, but at the same time, how would it affect her to lose your support/friendship? If she's already feeling pessimistic, losing someone close to her would certainly not help. Perhaps calling Samaritans or Breathing Space might give you a better idea of what you could do to help her? Don't get me wrong, I don't think you are BU to feel brought down by her attitude, but it is important to remember that she can't help. I personally wouldn't be so quick to give up on her. Best of luck