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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I overreacting?

10 replies

Fairycake2 · 21/09/2019 22:20

My daughter usually has school meals but was on a trip last week and needed a packed lunch. She was at her dads the night before so he made it. He gave her

A sausage roll
A whole packet of salami
Apple
2 drumstick lollies
A packet of cake sprinkles
Crisps

I messaged him to say it was an awful lunch and he blamed me for being away. He made no acknowledgement that it was really unhealthy.

My daughter has enamel hypoplasis so her teeth are particularly sensitive and she's not really allowed to eat sweets and particularly not lollies. This isn't the first time he's ignored my requests not to give her lollies but he doesn't seem to care. I was also concerned about the salt in all that salami. I know it's only one lunch but it's just an indication of how he does the bare minimum for his daughter.

Am I overreacting? And any suggestions how i get him to listen in future? It's like he does the total opposite of what i ask just to get at me even though it affects her.

For some background he also does very little homework with her, refused to take her to the swimming lessons i paid for and won't let her go to parties on his weekend

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 21/09/2019 22:22

Well he is a shit parent, but presumably you knew
That anyway.

BigusBumus · 21/09/2019 22:27

As the mother of teenagers I can honestly say let it go. Tell him your feelings and that's that. It's not what you'd do for a packed lunch but she didn't die, get ill or not eat. If you're a single mum you're going to face so many different and difficult situations but this is minor in my opinion and not worth making a massive deal over.

thecatinthetwat · 21/09/2019 22:33

Well your dds father is obviously a dick, but I don’t think there is anything you can do about it.

how could you make someone give a shit about stuff they don’t give a shit about? Sorry op.

Zebraaa · 21/09/2019 22:33

@BigusBumus a common sense answer!

intermittentfasting · 21/09/2019 22:36

He sounds shit but there's nothing you can do about it.
Depending on your daughters age could you get her on board with turning down sweets because of her teeth?

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 22:49

@BigusBumus is spot on.

I get the worry about hwe teeth and lollies. The rest, is just 'meh'.

I have been a single mum. Exh got in a habit of sending ds with left over pizza. Ds hates cold pizza. I just text him and said 'ds doesnt want to tell you incase it upsets you, but he doesnt like cold pizza. Can you send a sandwiche next time'

Exh is a dick. But if I had a go everytime he does something I dont like my life woild have been far too stressful.

Fairycake2 · 22/09/2019 08:59

Thanks all. Sadly he is a total dick but you're right, there is nothing I can do about that. Will try harder just to ignore his rubbish parenting and not get stressed about it!

OP posts:
Joyce2014 · 22/09/2019 16:38

Tbf I'm sure this would be a lunch my husband would send our son!! !!! Man unfortunately have hardly any brain cells 🤦

KylieKoKo · 22/09/2019 17:02

That's the sort of thing I sometimes have for lunch now Blush

If it's a one off then I don't really see what the issue is to be honest. I'm guessing this is just one thing in a line of many things though.

Fairycake2 · 22/09/2019 17:14

Yes, it is just a long line of things and this was the one which tipped me over the edge!

OP posts:
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