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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect a invite

27 replies

Hildabow · 21/09/2019 20:30

Long time lurker.

Try to keep this brief.

My sister organised a meal for my nieces birthday and to my knowledge invited my mum, dad and her husbands mum. They had this meal at a location near to me. I have just found out they invited my brother, sil and their kids! When I confronted my mum she said sister had mentioned the night before inviting me but she thought I might not be able to afford it!!! Am I being unreasonable in thinking she should of at least invited us?? I feel sorry for my kids as they love their cousins but are constantly left out. Being left out of birthday celebrations seems to be the final straw for me x

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2019 20:32

I can totally understand why you’re upset.

Are you going to talk to your sister about it?

IceIceCoffee · 21/09/2019 20:33

Yanbu

They should at least ask.

Travis1 · 21/09/2019 20:35

Yanbu that’s just cruel. Is there a history there as to why you’d be left out?

user1474894224 · 21/09/2019 20:36

Can you afford it?

Thehop · 21/09/2019 20:37

They should have absolutely asked

coldlighthappier · 21/09/2019 20:40

You’re sister is a bit of a cow isn’t she

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 21/09/2019 20:46

They should have asked but if you really couldn't afford it, then maybe she was trying to be kind (& not make you feel bad about saying no or her feeling that she would have to pay for you)

Rachelover60 · 21/09/2019 21:01

You should have been invited, I'm sorry you were not but please talk to your sister about it.

Cherrysoup · 21/09/2019 21:04

She should have at least given you the choice.

Original poster

Hildabow · 21/09/2019 21:14

No history other than they are best friends with my bother and sil. They have left us out of plenty of things which i don’t mind just leaving us out of a birthday meal seems awful.

We could afford it, it wasn’t anywhere expensive.

OP posts:

LemonAddict · 21/09/2019 21:17

Do you have a history of sitting back when the bill arrives and not paying your share?

BloggersBlog · 21/09/2019 21:19

Yanbu, that is really hurtful

namechangedagain11 · 21/09/2019 21:21

Just posted something similar! Sisters eh?

She should have invited you. It's up to you to decide whether you could afford it or not.

LL83 · 21/09/2019 21:28

If the intention was to avoid pressuring you then although she made a mistake I would talk it through for next time rather than being angry.

If you suspect she is deliberately excluding you that is awful and I dont know how you move on.

Original poster

Hildabow · 21/09/2019 21:29

I always pay my share!

OP posts:

LemonAddict · 21/09/2019 21:32

Well in that case YANBU.

I only asked because my SIL is expert level when it comes to avoiding paying her share of the bill.

Carthage · 21/09/2019 21:56

That's really unkind. It sounds like a proper family occasion and it's not nice to leave out one of the family groups. I think I would have to withdraw a bit from your sister.

Windydaysuponus · 21/09/2019 22:01

Well come December plead poverty.
Get them all naff all for Christmas...
Nasty fuckers.

LaraLondon1 · 21/09/2019 22:08

Don’t know what type of relationship you have with ur sis but can you not contact her and say to count you in for the meal , there is no prob wit you being able to come .
Surely u must know whether or not you’re being excluded on purpose .. something like that isn’t out of the blue .

EL8888 · 21/09/2019 22:09

^this

They were nasty and it’s quite out of order

Cherrysherbet · 21/09/2019 22:13

That’s really not nice. YANBU. I would need to find out why.

TrainspottingWelsh · 21/09/2019 22:32

Yanbu. One of dp’s siblings has differing finances to the rest of us. So unless it’s already agreed one person is paying for a treat, everyone picks destinations that fit everyone’s budget, because their company is more important. So that excuse doesn’t wash.

Tilltheendoftheline · 21/09/2019 22:45

Why would you 'confront' your mum?

She didnt organise it.

Any reason you have now made this your mums issue, rather than your sisters? Or even your dad?

Original poster

Hildabow · 22/09/2019 06:51

Sorry my mistake confront was a strong word. I just rang and asked her who went and why didn’t she tell me the following day. I haven’t spoken to my dad about it yet.

I’ve not made it my mums issue I just asked her a question as at the moment I don’t want to speak to my sister.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hildabow · 22/09/2019 06:54

I get along with my sister fine (or so I thought) no arguments or backstory. We text everyday and see each other at family events etc. This is why I find it so weird I was left out.

OP posts:

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