@OlympicProcrastinator
*I'm a terrible sleeper, my brain is never still, and I'm always on to the next new, shiny thing.
I never shut up, and I do have trouble fitting in. People seem to think that I'm awkward, but I'm not, I just don't understand why people behave the way they do, and get all agitated about it.
I'm always anxious as to whether I've behaved correctly, said the right thing, because I never seem to know.
I'm very on/off. I'm either engrossed in something (work project/conversation etc) or not, and if I'm not, I'll happily walk away with barely a second glance, even though I know that on some level, it's probably rude.
My friends think that I'm very organised, but it takes a massive effort, and it's definitely a coping mechanism, because if I'm not organised, everything falls apart.
With lockdown, it seems to have unravelled me a bit, and the coping mechanisms that I was unconsciously using have gone awry, because I'm not having the human interaction to keep me on track*
Oh Bumblefleet I actually feel a bit emotional reading this as it resonates with me so much. I have a formal diagnosis. Do you recognise anything from my post too?
I get so over anxious and over analytical about my own behaviour and not understanding others. I over analyse everything which can make me over sensitive. Laying awake with my bloody over active brain is soul destroying sometimes!
Actually, lots resonates from your post.
I do like to be early, 10 minutes early is bang on time in my book, I write down everything. I have a lovely A4 notebook, and I rewrite my list every single night, and put little stars by things, or I look at it the next day, and have no idea what to do, and therefore do nothing.
I'm in a job whereby I need to be on top of things all the time, and my lovely list keeps me sane. I have software to remind me of things, but I don't look at it, because I have my list....
I've been like this for so long, that it barely registers anymore, but I don't want to discuss it with anybody out loud, because if I don't have a diagnosis, I'm fearful that they'll think that I'm jumping on the bandwagon or something.
And the films, yes! Something like Mad Max, Fast and Furious, I have no idea what's going on. At all.
I can talk and overthink things to a ridiculous degree, honestly, I even bore myself.
But I also walk around in a bit of a fug. If something doesn't interest me, then I just ignore it, I just can't get involved in it. My husband tells me that the car needs air in it's tyres, and my head just shrugs. I'm simply not interested, and have to force myself to go and do it, or I'd be driving around with flat tyres. Just doesn't enter my brain.
The more I type, the more I think 'gosh, there may be something in this'. How did I not know this about myself?