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Original poster

Should I tell my partner I'm pregnant yet?

60 replies

Theos5575 · 21/09/2019 14:08

I took my first positive pregnancy test this Tuesday. On a whim as I thought I "felt pregnant". I conceived 3 weeks ago.

This night before this (Mobday) my parents urged me to book the same trip they were doing around the carribean - sounded fun so I did.

So now I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant, I leave in a week for a month cruise with my parents.

Should I tell my partner before I go? I want to share this news with him but he is a huge worrier.. plus I know being so early might not even eventuate to anything as its my first and potential for a miscarriage?

OP posts:
Millie2016 · 21/09/2019 15:14

Sorry OP another one saying I wouldn’t go because of the Zika risk.

SmoothLawAbider · 21/09/2019 15:17

Can't see why you wouldn't tell him before you go, tbh.

And I don't think Zika is seen as a significant risk now is it? Never read anything about it anymore, and a quick google says the Caribbean never registered any increase in babies born with congenital defects anyway.

AlansLeftMoob · 21/09/2019 15:19

Of course you should tell him, and he is right to be concerned if he is - maybe he could come with you or instead of the cruise you could both go somewhere else together instead that doesn't have the risk of contracting Zika.

Bit odd for parents to convince adult daughter with partner to go on cruise with them on her own, is it not?! Or did I just get shit parents

Marnie76 · 21/09/2019 15:21

.

LittleAndOften · 21/09/2019 15:21

Of course, it's his baby too! Plus he may well have views he wants to express on the Zika risk too. Worst case scenario - you go, contract the virus and he never knew or had a chance to comment, what would that do to your relationship?

AlansLeftMoob · 21/09/2019 15:21

Also, you may have to inform the Cruise Line, this is from Carnival Cruises:

Carnival Cruise Line–Pregnant women are only allowed to sail if pregnant for 24 completed weeks or less at time of cruise disembarkation. All pregnant women are required to produce a physician's letter stating that mother and baby are in good health, fit to travel and the pregnancy is not high-risk.

HeadintheiClouds · 21/09/2019 15:30

How bizarre Confused. You book a month long cruise (how did you get a month off at a day’s notice!), find out you’re pregnant the next day and consider just fucking off without telling your partner?
How old are you? Why don’t you holiday together?

StinkyBumFace · 21/09/2019 15:33

Not read the entire thread yet but I found out just as the kids broke up this summer, that I was 4wks pregnant. I went away the next day for 2 weeks on our family holiday and literally the day after we arrived there the WORST morning sickness I had ever had kicked in. I spent the whole holiday in our hotel room with my head down the toilet! The flight home was horrific. I'm now 13wks and I'm still pretty sick but I would NEVER go away if I knew I was about to start having morning sickness - and there is a high likelihood that you will over the next week or so.
But you won't miss scans (if you're in the UK you have your first scan at 12 weeks and I booked my booking appts with the midwife over the phone on my holiday!) so don't worry about that.
As far as telling your OH I'm not sure why you wouldn't unless you don't want him to be a Debbie Downer and ruin your fun...

Pieceofpurplesky · 21/09/2019 15:33

You need to tell him and you need to very carefully check zika information. Do you live together?

PuffHuffle5 · 21/09/2019 15:36

I don’t understand posts like this - ‘when should I tell my partner...’ err now? I think it’s an odd/ not particularly close relationship if you don’t tell you’re partner you’re pregnant pretty much straight away, unless you opt for some kind of spectacular surprise reveal...

Coconutbug · 21/09/2019 15:39

He may be a worrier but why would you not tell him? I can't imagine not telling my OH something so important. Even if you do miscarry wouldnt it he better for him to be aware in the first place rather you coming home saying 'oh I was pregnant and now I'm not'
I'm assuming maybe you don't want to tell him if it wasn't a planned pregnancy? You definitely should.
I find this situation strange sorry

On the other side I think a holiday could be a nice way to start pregnancy depending on how you are feeling. At least you'd be able to nap etc whenever you wanted and hopefully you'll be able to stomach food.

LagunaBubbles · 21/09/2019 15:40

I don't get this, why wouldnt you just tell your partner?

Andysbestadventure · 21/09/2019 15:43

Zika. No chance. Cancel your trip.

Marnie76 · 21/09/2019 15:54

How did you get a month off of work at a moments notice???

PurpleDaisies · 21/09/2019 15:55

Why haven’t you told him already? I’d have been straight round to tell mine. Confused

PotteringAlong · 21/09/2019 15:57

You need to tell your partner
Tell the cruise ship
Tell your travel insurance
Tell your parents

Greenmarmalade · 21/09/2019 16:02

Yes, tell your partner.

If you get ‘morning’ sickness, you may feel awful on the trip. Just be aware it can be all day sickness and you may feel exhausted.

Also try to book in with midwife before you go so you can get a 12 week scan booked in.

Purpleartichoke · 21/09/2019 16:03

If he is actually a partner, of course you tell him. If you are using that term to describe someone who happen to be sleeping with, then you can decide if you want to wait to tell him.

BlueBilledBeatboxingBird · 21/09/2019 16:06

And I don't think Zika is seen as a significant risk now is it? Never read anything about it anymore, and a quick google says the Caribbean never registered any increase in babies born with congenital defects anyway.

This is the up-to-date Public Health England travel advice for Jamaica - they still advise that 'pregnant woman should consider avoiding travel to this country until after the pregnancy'.

FairyDogMother11 · 21/09/2019 16:06

I had awful seasickness on my cruise, and separately I had awful morning sickness for the first weeks of my pregnancy - kicked in at 6 weeks and didn't stop until 16 weeks. I'll be honest and say if I'd been going on a cruise in my early pregnancy, I would have had a horrible time. Also the Caribbean is one of the only places still left with a moderate zika risk so I would be very wary of that.

Lweji · 21/09/2019 16:07

I'd worry more about having morning sickness on the trip.

Regarding Zika, I think some pps are overreacting. You're on a cruise, not camping. Just make sure you cover yourself in repellent every time you go out and before you go out, not just if you spot mosquitoes.

Use icaridin/picaridin, which you can spread on your clothes as well, instead of DEET. Apply as lotion, or if as spray in well ventilated areas.

But I find the idea of not telling a partner odd. Even if he is a worrier.

NerrSnerr · 21/09/2019 16:12

If you conceived 3 weeks ago that makes you approx 7 weeks pregnant? That means in 4 weeks time you'll be 11 weeks which is cutting it fine to arrange the 12 week scan/ booking in.

NerrSnerr · 21/09/2019 16:13

How did you get a month off of work at a moments notice???

She may not work, she may do agency work, she may run her own business?

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 21/09/2019 16:23

You need to sort out your insurance.

Lweji · 21/09/2019 16:30

BTW, also think about telling your parents. They may not be so happy to share a holiday with you in early pregnancy.

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