I have a fairly senior role which I have worked so so hard to build and have just returned from maternity leave. However it's clear to me that my role no longer really exists and hasn't for a while. I had raised this and some concerns with my new boss before I returned. I thought I had done this fairly positively (as many of the issues arose before he took over). Having returned thinking it would be better than I imagined, it is so much worse. My job has gone and frankly people are picking over the bones of my role as it's given them an unexpected career boost. I've spoken to friends and some trusted colleagues and the advice is always to get my head down and try to enjoy a less demanding role.
The problem is I can't get out of my own head. I sit in the middle of the team and it's so clear and embarrassing that I have been replaced. I put enormous pressure on myself to deliver what little work I have and then bottle it at the last moment as my confidence is shot. I am in tears at home, in the work toilets, I am a crap parent as this is all I think off.
I am of course looking for a new job, but roles are sparse and probably involve a big pay cut as no one really hires at my level.
How do I live with this and not drown in my own stupid sorrow and anger at this.