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AIBU?

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How do I get out of my own head ?

6 replies

glittergoat · 21/09/2019 09:41

I have a fairly senior role which I have worked so so hard to build and have just returned from maternity leave. However it's clear to me that my role no longer really exists and hasn't for a while. I had raised this and some concerns with my new boss before I returned. I thought I had done this fairly positively (as many of the issues arose before he took over). Having returned thinking it would be better than I imagined, it is so much worse. My job has gone and frankly people are picking over the bones of my role as it's given them an unexpected career boost. I've spoken to friends and some trusted colleagues and the advice is always to get my head down and try to enjoy a less demanding role.

The problem is I can't get out of my own head. I sit in the middle of the team and it's so clear and embarrassing that I have been replaced. I put enormous pressure on myself to deliver what little work I have and then bottle it at the last moment as my confidence is shot. I am in tears at home, in the work toilets, I am a crap parent as this is all I think off.

I am of course looking for a new job, but roles are sparse and probably involve a big pay cut as no one really hires at my level.

How do I live with this and not drown in my own stupid sorrow and anger at this.

OP posts:
Blondebakingmumma · 21/09/2019 10:05

You probably won’t like my suggestion but I’m reading the power of now atm. It’s all about getting out of your head and enjoying the present. If this book doesn’t suit maybe a different one or talk to someone about your worries

MMadness · 21/09/2019 10:15

Can you not request a meeting with your manager and/or HR to discuss the apparent changes and to clarify your position description?

CoteDAzur · 21/09/2019 10:22

It's hard to go back to work after maternity leave in the best of circumstances. You are not weak, incompetent, or a crap parent.

Update your CV & LinkedIn page now and start looking for your new role. You might be surprised.

IncogMeToo · 21/09/2019 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IncogMeToo · 21/09/2019 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ponoka7 · 21/09/2019 10:38

While there is possibly some hormonal stuff going on, you're right to feel angry and that you've been treated badly.

You need a meeting with your Manager. I'd put something in writing to HR.

Don't let them sideline you. It happens to a lit of Women returning from ML, but you need to stand up for yourself.

A loss of confidence is usual after having a baby, but you worked hard for your job role and deserve it.

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