To expect some posters to be more civil?

[MadMadsMum]

For the most part, I think posters on Mumsnet engage in productive and interesting debate, but I’ve been reading through loads of threads and I’m surprised at some of the basic lack of civility and/or understanding from some posters. I’m by no means a “snowflake” and I’m a big fan of honesty but it looks as though some people go out of their way to be rude. Thoughts?

I find the varied responses to be a good representation of the general public. In my work I deal with a broad cross-section of the public and occasionally their interactions with me are surprising in their aggression and ignorance. But they are vastly in the minority. Most people will make an attempt at civility even when they are under tremendous pressure .
I feel sorry for the people who have no manners or intelligence to interact with others according to the accepted norm. But they shouldn't be excluded from using this forum just because they show this. Its a good reminder to those who live in a bubble that these people are out there.

OP - it's far easier to be rude within the confines of an anonymous forum. I imagine that many posters would not be so uncivil in real life.

I would hope not anyway.

Some are just trolls, being deliberately rude to get a reaction, or to vent their frustration at being a failure in life.
Some didn’t mean to be rude but expressed their point too bluntly, or were misinterpreted.
Some perhaps feel the OP needed a reality check or to be reminded to count their blessings. Hence all the “give your head a wobble”, “get a grip” type posts.
I’m always impressed that the vast majority of posts on MN are helpful and compassionate. I can’t think of many other fora where that is the case! Twitter in particular can be a bullying shitfest .

It depends where you post on the specialist boards posters are usually very considerate ,in Aibu there can be some right tossers who will.argue just for the same of it .

I think it’s really mixed. I’ve seen and had some of the most wonderful support and advice on mn and some of the best laughs when threads become classically bizarre etc.
Agree some posts or posters are breathtakingly rude - for attention, through bravado at it being largely anonymous, just because they are unpleasant, because they are drunk or otherwise under par or a thread has touched a nerve and they’ve snapped without thinking before pressing ‘post’. I try to give benefit of the doubt but agree some are plain nasty and I won’t ever understand why they get any pleasure from it. I ignore them. Called one out once for being rude to me and we ended up realising we had both misunderstood or misread posts and had a laugh about it.
I’m sure a few of my posts may have been read as being close to rude but I try very hard to word them so they won’t be - not rude in real life so why would I be here ?

That’s the fun of the internet though you can say whatever you like however outrageous from behind a keyboard.