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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inconsiderate partner?

6 replies

Mojitomogul · 21/09/2019 00:32

This may seem an overreaction but my feelings feel so hurt. DP of 7 years(don't live together but stay over approx 3/4nights a week,no children,saving for deposit). Anyway I finished work early, went swimming and got ready with make up,blowdried hair just in case I went out this evening . Rang DP and asked if he wanted to go for dinner, said no pressure as he'd had a busy day at work. DP said no, he was going to chill and have early night as was knackered after work. Fair enough, I went round to my mums and had a nice evening catching up instead. Cue to phone call at 11pm from a drunk DP who has decided a short while after we'd spoken that he was in fact not too tired to go out and had joined his friends at the pub all evening. I wouldn't have even cared so much if he had text to say -i might even have joined them, but just feel so hurt that it didnt even cross his mind to let me know? I just feel like if he was too tired and supposedly exhausted to see me yet raring to go to the pub it's quite obvious where I'm standing in the list of priorities? Just feel a bit shit really but wondering if I am being a bit of a princess. In my mind I was really excited to see him this evening and we had talked about us seeing each other on the phone earlier today aswell. Just feel like I can't stand the thought of being a pub widow.

OP posts:
RainbowGirls · 21/09/2019 00:35

YANBU how horrible. It just makes you feel second best. He could have easily invited you

Didkdt · 21/09/2019 00:42

7 years is a long time to have not taken some sort of next step together.
If he's given you something to think about then think about it.

Mojitomogul · 21/09/2019 00:49

Thank you for the quick replies. I agree @didkdt we are still mid twenties and wanting to save iamd buy instead of rent but it is frustrating, as I rent anyway with friends so feel like I should be renting with him. It's such a shame it's very rare that he acts like this - I say rare as in about twice a year but it is often in situations that make me feel second best.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/09/2019 00:54

God don’t buy a house with someone before you’ve lived with them. So much potential for disaster there.

Derbee · 21/09/2019 01:08

Unless there is a big backstory, 7 years is a long time to still be living apart from each other. Are you sure the “saving for a deposit” is actually that? Or is it buying time to not need to commit to you?

Agree with a PP. I wouldn’t buy a house with someone I hadn’t lived with

thecatinthetwat · 21/09/2019 01:10

But, why didn't you stay in with him? Was it a night you had planned to see each other? I think it's more complicated because of your set up. Which I find odd btw. Definitely rent together now and buy when you can afford it. Moving in together fully mortgaged is very rare these days I should think and for good reason.

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