HELP! Advise needed URGENTLY!

[Confusedmumma12]

Hi, So basically I have a son who is 7. Me and his father have been separated for sometime. When he was around 4years old his dad didn't see him for around a year! I never stopped him but equally I didn't chase him (cos frankly why should I? No-one chases me to be a mother!) he simply never got in touch and never asked to see him for a year. So he asked to see him and I let him and although sporadic at times he saw him regularly for around 6months. He then stopped contacting to see our son again and the last time he saw him was 24th October 2018 again almost a year ago. Today I have received a message from a friend of his which states DAD has asked him to message to ask if DAD can take his son to park one day next week. He doesn't want to speak to me just see the son...……..Now I should also mention he has never financially contributed towards his son either. Now I feel like its not healthy for our son to have his dad pop in and out of his life in this manner? I want to say NO... but am I being unreasonable? I also don't want my son to grow up thinking I prevented him having a relationship with his dad... when in the past I begged and pleaded for him to see our son. Should I say we need to go to mediation first? (which I know he will decline) or should I just say no? Also how am I meant to be comfortable allowing this dad to take him when I have no contact details for him or idea where he is going? Am I being unreasonable?

I would not let my childs dad in and out of his life. He either sorts himself out, starts paying for his kid and sees him regularly from now on or he can just leave you both alone.

You need to know a number to call to get hold of him if youre going to let him see his dad. Either way you both need to talk about whats going to happen in future. Does he not understand fucking around coming in and out whenever he pleases isnt helpful for his son? Being a parent isnt part time.

I agree with PP , Dad needs to grow up , who the hell would get a complete stranger ( to you ) to text you asking for him to see his son , thats just weird . Its like a bunch of boys getting the littlest one to go and knock on the scary mans door to ask for the ball back .

I would reply to the text ' I am not willing to discuss this with a stranger ' then block the number .
Dad needs to commit emotionally , physically and financially or not at all .
Mediation is a good first call if that doesn't work then the courts , but to be honest unless you need the £s from him I would not bother , anyone who cares about anyone else would not need a court order to make them visit