Possible divorce just before Disney holiday

[Bobo7]

So 2 weeks until a special family holiday and my brother decides he doesn't have passion For his wife anymore and just wants to be friends. This will they won't they make it work palaver has been going on for 6 weeks causing lots of upset and making my parents who have paid a lot towards this holiday ill. The main issue is they are going Round in circles and not making decisions where they are ruining any excitement and build
Up for this amazing holiday to Disney. AIBU to tell them that they are being selfish in going on and on like this and leaving us hanging As to whether they are coming or not. I have had a lot of personal issues myself to struggle with and this holiday has kept me going not to go into how hard I have worked to get the money together ???

Sorry I can't quite understand, are you going on the holiday too?

Is your brother deciding whether to come or not? Surely the kids are expecting to go.

They are behaving like children, you have my sympathies OP. Have you spoken to them at all ? It sounds like they will be a nightmare on holiday too.

How long have they been married?

People hang on to bad marriages because, it's someone's birthday, Christmas or a holiday is booked.

I understand the upset, but they are possibly ending a marriage, which is a massive upheaval in their life.

They would reframe it as their life is dramatically changing and the rest of the family is more worried about a holiday.

I appreciate your parents want to know, but I think you need some sympathy for your DB too. Calling his problems a "palaver" is quite belittling I think, both he and his wife are probably really upset and unsure of what to do next. Even a fantastic holiday will probably far from what they are concentrating on.

However, I think all your parents have to do is say we are booking X, Y and Z on a certain day. Let me know if you are coming otherwise we won't book for you. Job done.

Can you not set their drama aside and reframe? Ie if they come, great! If they don’t, great!

Don’t let it spoil your build up and excitement. However I can understand the implications are more hurtful for your parents if they are paying.

Did you book with Go West With Mickey, because there may not be a holiday to ruin anyway!

They're ending their marriage and you're bothered about a trip to Disney?

Disney is shite by the way OP. Utter shite.

Can you not empathise with your brother and his wife at all?? They are on the brink of divorce e and you are worrying about that spoiling the build up to your holiday?

It is unlikely to impact your holiday even if they don’t come surely anyway? Wouldn’t they just lose the money on their booking and you’d just go anyway? Perhaps try chilling out, enjoying your own plans and more importantly, remembering how lucky you are not to be experiencing the drama that he is at the moment. Hopefully there aren’t any children in the middle suffering

They're ending their marriage and you're bothered about a trip to Disney? 🤨
^^
THIS.

They're ending their marriage and you're bothered about a trip to Disney?

This times two. Seriously, priorities.

YABU to prioritise a holiday over your brother's marriage.

The timing is really crap but it sounds as if your brother and sister in law are in the midst of a crisis within their marriage. Unless they have form for reoccurring break up dramas then I would try to be understanding. I would gently ask them for a final decision as to whether they will be going within the next few days purely for practical reasons as I don't think any kind of refund is possible at this late stage and given the circumstances.

If your brother has suddenly decided he doesn't love his wife anymore then I would imagine that your SIL is devastated and understandably not prioritising Disney at the moment. Im sure she isn't being deliberately selfish she is just probably trying to figure stuff out one day at a time. I would imagine it would be incredibly difficult for her to process the situation then switch her feelings off and just become friends in such a short time.

Disney is a very expensive "big" holiday but at the end of the day it is just a holiday. Your brother and sister in law sound as if they are trying to sort out their future life as a family and this cannot always be neatly resolved within 6 weeks to fit in with other plans.

It will inevitably be upsetting for the wider family and it is horrible that it is taking the shine off such a special holiday for the rest of you.

Even if they decide to go there is no getting away from the fact it will be a bit tense and awkward.

Hi OP, I completely understand where you're coming from. Everyone has problems. Everyone has things going on. Yanbu to be concerned about what happens next, anybody would be.

However my advice would be to just continue being supportive, and try to be a shoulder to lean on. Don't push them, or snap at their inability to just decide.

What will be, will be. But they won't appreciate being forced into making a decision about their future which could have dramatic consequences.

I take it both you and your brother have children? If so I agree, if at all possible they should try and pull together for a few more weeks to make this a lovely holiday for their kids.

If it's just you adults then you are being unreasonable I think. Surely if your brother doesn't go, you will still go? Not ideal, but getting divorced is probably shitter than a slightly different Disney trip than originally planned.

Totally get where you are coming from, however this stage surely they have paid?

I don't know your relationship with them, however if it was my BIL and his partner i'd offer to take the kids and give them a chance of time on their own maybe? Either way it's a big holiday, go and enjoy!