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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask for DH to show me the same consideration I show him when ill?

3 replies

FrustratedandTired19 · 20/09/2019 13:08

I'm feeling rather down today, DH and I have an issue that I understand is fairly common after lurking on MN for quite a while.

He has two health conditions that make life a bit difficult for him, one is treatable the other is a skin condition that is extremely painful when he has a flare up. The treatable condition has been going on for almost a year and he hasn't followed up with his GP, which he was advised to do if the condition hadn't improved after 3 months.

When he's unwell I offer him early nights to bed, lie ins at the weekend where possible and basically give him a get-out for anything that might make his pain worse.

I'm suffering with a lot of physical pain too - he knows this but because I don't moan about it on a daily basis or pop painkillers every day it's as though he just assumes I'm okay. We've been together for a decade and have two young DC together. He's an excellent partner and Father in all respects except for this particular area.

I was in A&E this morning with severe chest pain, this adds to my acute tendonitis, sciatica following spinal compression after my second pregnancy and a few other pains following 2 pregnancies. I was meant to be heading to sort out a legal issue that we have been involved in for quite some time and we are nearly at the end of and it's looking as though it will go in our favour. When I emailed him at work to explain I'd been to A&E and after some routine checks, have been sent home with advice on how to monitor the chest pains (best guess at the moment is pericarditis) instructions on over the counter medications that can help and to REST. His response was rather disappointing, he basically said "glad you're okay and please make sure to get to the solicitors this afternoon."

I'm not okay, I'm in a lot of pain and explained that to him - so just feeling really deflated that once again my health seems of little concern when he thinks there's something "more important" to deal with. I explained I might have to postpone my visit to the solicitors as it's a fair journey from where I live and have to walk a fair distance when I get to the city where they're based.

AIBU to tell him that whilst I know how important this matter is (I'm the one that's dealt with it from the start, he's had no input or inclination to get involved) my health is more bloody important?

OP posts:
FrustratedandTired19 · 20/09/2019 13:13

So as not to dripfeed - this legal situation could result in a much needed financial windfall which we desperately need after a few years of living on a very low income, so I understand his desperation to have it sorted, I want it sorted too, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my physical health to it.

The ongoing stress of the case has been draining enough over the past few years.

OP posts:
FrustratedandTired19 · 20/09/2019 13:48

For those who think IABU I’d like your perspective and for others who think I’m not really, didn’t realise I’d enabled voting! Blush

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 20/09/2019 13:53

Yanbu Op

Yes it could involve a windfall, but is a few more days going to change whether you get it or not?

No.

You need to rest

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