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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to give the neighbour an emergency contact number?

23 replies

Sewbean · 20/09/2019 12:42

My parents have bought a flat near us. But for one reason and another for the next year or so they are still going to be living mostly in their current house 80 miles away before they can make a permanent move.

This morning I knocked on the neighbours doors, there are only 4 in the block. Got the woman downstairs first. I explained who I was, why the flat would be empty much of the time for now, and offered her my number in case she ever needed to contact us if there was a problem.

She said "what sort of problem?" I said I was thinking along the lines of a water leak or a gas leak and they needed urgent access to the flat upstairs, I'm local, I can come round.

She said she was not taking any responsibility for anything in our flat, she is not bloody neighbourhood watch and she would not be needing our number thank you very much and shut the door.

Was I U to offer her my number? If you lived downstairs from a flat that is often empty would you not want to be able to contact the owners if water started dripping through your ceiling?

Sometimes people are weird. Or else I'm weird. I'm not knocking on anyone else's door till I get an idea of who is the weird one.

OP posts:
TheMustressMhor · 20/09/2019 12:47

Oh, I think she was definitely weird.

She probably thought you had some expectation that she would be asked to take on a responsibility she didn't want or understand.

Is there anyone else in the block ?

TheMustressMhor · 20/09/2019 12:48

Sorry - have just seen that there are two more potential weirdos in the block.

Good luck. They will probably be completely normal.

Robs20 · 20/09/2019 12:49

She is weird. I think that is a normal (neighbourly) was thing to do.

Petrichor11 · 20/09/2019 12:52

YANBU

It’s for her benefit at least as much as yours! If water is leaking into her flat from the one above, it’s in her interest to let you know so you can get the leak fixed! I’ve twice had a leak from the flat above mine, fortunately my letting agency was able to find and contact theirs and get it sorted very quickly which minimised the damage caused. But hey if she doesn’t care then it’s not your problem.

k1233 · 20/09/2019 13:00

Yep strange. I have my neighbours numbers and called one one day as I could hear a beeping in their place as I was leaving home and was worried it was a fire alarm. Turned out it was an alarm on the fridge, but I would have felt so bad if I'd ignored it and the place burned down.

StrongTea · 20/09/2019 13:03

Sensible thing for you to do, hope the other neighbours are more approachable.

MediocreOmens · 20/09/2019 13:25

She is definitely the weird one. We did this when we bought a house but couldn't move in straight away. Our neighbours thanked us!

margaritaproblems · 20/09/2019 13:34

Do you think you could have caught her at a bad time? Maybe she's having an awful day or she's having bad news. I was like this with people after they told me I had a brain tumour. I'm usually very friendly

Hopesorfears · 20/09/2019 13:38

It would be tempting to leave an alarm clock to go off every morning plugged in in the flat. She has no imagination if she can't think why she might want to contact you!

Sewbean · 20/09/2019 14:37

Maybe she was having a bad day, who knows.
At least I know it wasn't a totally unreasonable thing to do, I will knock on the other neighbours doors next time I am there, I am at home now.

Out of interest, how would you get into a house that's not yours? Phone the police? Water company? I have no idea.

OP posts:
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 20/09/2019 14:47

I'd just type up a letter introducing yourself as local relative of the owner and "contact number in case of leak or other emergency" and post one through each door in the block.

You can't say you didn't try.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 20/09/2019 15:02

It would be the police I think. They can force entry & would then try & find contact details for the owner/tenant who they’d then contact to sort out the issue. this is from a few police docs I’ve watched where a water leak has happened. Presumably in the case of gas it would be the fire brigade but the same would happen once the supply was turned off.

Unshriven · 20/09/2019 15:09

You sound completely normal.

When we had a leak from upstairs, we called the water board, and they had they called the police.

Marzipane · 20/09/2019 15:13

Completely normal thing for you to do, she was really weird.

Our neighbour's have our number, we have theirs and we each have a spare key for each other's houses.

We park on each other's drives when the others are away to make the houses look less obviously unoccupied.

I thought that level of neighbourly niceness is standard?!

Kazzyhoward · 20/09/2019 15:15

Two ways of looking at it. She may feel that you're placing some burden or responsibility upon her, i.e. "keep an eye on things" which is completely unacceptable for someone you don't know, especially if you're not the one living there and it's going to empty for long time periods. She may feel she'll get blamed if something happens, i.e. a break in, leaks, etc. and she didn't tell you.

Kazzyhoward · 20/09/2019 15:18

It’s for her benefit at least as much as yours! If water is leaking into her flat from the one above, it’s in her interest to let you know so you can get the leak fixed!

But she could do what anyone else would do without your number, i.e. make contact with emergency services/emergency plumber etc., to break in and deal with it.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 20/09/2019 15:41

I thought that level of neighbourly niceness is standard?!

Not on MN it ain't. Neighbours should never be spoken to unless you are communicating by solictor's letter.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 20/09/2019 16:08

BuzzShitbagBobbly

Difficult to communicate if you never answer the door!

Basil90 · 20/09/2019 16:09

My god how bloody rude of her! You're definitely not weird OP

Abraid2 · 20/09/2019 16:11

On MN front doors are not opened unless prior written permission has been granted.

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 20/09/2019 16:12

YANBU. She’s being weird.

I have both my neighbours contact numbers and vice versa just in case of any problems while any of us are away etc, totally normal.

RainOrSun · 20/09/2019 16:20

The fire brigade will also break into a flat if needed to prevent further damage to the flat below. Or at least they did 20 years ago when it happened to us.

crosstalk · 20/09/2019 16:21

No, OP, actually that would be a neighbourly thing to do. She was BU, but perhaps didn't understand. I asked a neighbour to witness a document that literally just said she knew who I was and had witnessed my signature, but she didn't understand and said she wasn't getting into any legal business and had been done by relatives in the past ... eg presumably had signed some sort of financial arrangement. Agree with PP about sending a letter round with contact details BUT I'd be making sure the flat was well protected and poss with movement activated cctv. I would also email the police to let them know the flat is empty or wander into a police station and ask for advice. If you have one anywhere near you.

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