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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is 5 too young for sleepovers at friends house?

41 replies

Rhinosarefatunicorns19 · 20/09/2019 10:30

Just that really.

A mother at school is looking for someone to have her DC for a sleepover so she can do a social event. AIBU to think this is too young to do this at 5 unless you are family or a really close family friend that the child knows well?

This is all new to me so not sure what the norm on sleepovers is.

OP posts:

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 20/09/2019 13:03

I've asked my daughters friends if they want to sleep over after her 6th birthday party... a few have said yes a few no. None are family friends.

olympicsrock · 20/09/2019 13:06

Agree with you. My 7 year old has only slept over with family or very close family friends where he knows the house and family and is close enough to come home if needed. 5 is too young for this

dowehaveastalker · 20/09/2019 13:07

Not for me. We’ve been asked a handful of times - my child is 5. The earliest I would even consider it is 7/8. Maybe even 9.

SconeofDestiny · 20/09/2019 13:19

It's obviously up to you but I don't think there's a minimum age.
3 of my wonderful mum friends had DS for sleepovers when we were packing to move house/country and he was 4yrs old.
They all offered, I didn't ask but it was a huge help to us over the final 3 nights to pack his things away as most of it was going into storage for about 8 months.
DS has always been a very solid sleeper from a baby so once asleep, they didn't have to check on him until the morning. In fact one mum who had a very light sleeper herself said she kept checking he was still alive as he was so quiet.
He is a very laid back chilled child and absolutely loved his sleepovers.

inwood · 20/09/2019 13:51

Not a chance. Mine are in y4 and they're it going on sleepovers apart from close family when we need a babysitter.

intermittentfasting · 20/09/2019 13:53

So she wants a babysitter basically? She's calling it a sleepover to make it sound better.

If you're happy to babysit then go for it but she should call it what it is. You'd be doing her a big favour.

BestZebbie · 20/09/2019 13:57

We did a first sleepover with a best friend aged 4. It was a friend of the child, not the parents, though obviously we had met them many times on normal play-dates/parties/nursery pickups by then so trusted them well. Other friends of the same age were invited but felt it was too young. We had sleepovers at both houses and it was all fine.

Hoppinggreen · 20/09/2019 13:58

Too young
Dd was 8 and it was someone we knew very well.
CF just wants a babysitter

usernamerisnotavailable · 20/09/2019 15:50

Mine did. I asked. I was asked. Depends on the children I guess.

FinnBalorsAbs · 20/09/2019 16:08

We did it once with a five year old friend of DD’s but in the forest of emergency (her mum had literally no-one else who could help and had been called to hospital to be by the bedside of a terminally ill relative who wasn’t going to last the night). It all went fine but I wouldn’t have agreed if it wasn’t the gravest if circumstances and her DD hadn’t known me for several years / been to our house a lot etc.

Onesailwait · 20/09/2019 16:18

I think it totally depends on the kid. If I knew the mum didn't have much Family Support around or friends I do it has a favour. Maybe she's following some mumsnet advice which is often if you're stuck for childcare why don't you ask your kids friends parents

LifeSpectator · 20/09/2019 16:24

i think its too young

Clocktimer · 20/09/2019 16:27

I really think it’s too young. Some kids I know we’re having sleepovers earlier than 5, but I know my DC wouldn’t have coped all that well at this age.

Depends on the kid though, like others have said, I guess?

TheBrilloPad · 20/09/2019 16:30

My DD is in Yr 1, and she has had THREE sleepovers at ours with friends in reception! Two of whom stayed the whole night without a murmur, and one time mum came to pick up at 11pm (child wash remotely sad, just couldn't fall asleep).

DD definitely wouldn't have a sleepover at someone else's house yet, but I'm always happy to host if she has friends that want it. It's all her and her friends talk about, writing little notes to each other about what they will do at their next sleepover, what foods they will bring for their "midnight" feast etc

Doesn't bother me remotely. If her friends want to stay, and are confident enough to do so at 4/5, fine by me.

Original poster

Rhinosarefatunicorns19 · 20/09/2019 18:04

Thanks for the advice. It's going to be a no from me but just wanted to see what others were doing.

The child in question can be quite challenging and has only been to our house once, which was quite stressful tbh due to his behaviour. The mum does have family support just seems to be wanting to do it this way. I think I'd be more sympathetic if it were a family emergency but for a very routine social event I think she's actually taking the piss!

OP posts:

Durgasarrow · 20/09/2019 19:35

I remember when I was a little girl about that age and my parents went away for a night because my father won an award. Even though I was staying over with the family next door, with one of my best friends who I played with every day, I still remember looking at the pattern of the headlights of cars driving by on the walls of the room in the dark. I could not sleep.

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