To find dominant, attention seeking people very annoying?

[MyForbiddenLover]

Does anyone else get annoyed with this type of person?

I go to an exercise class once a week. There is a woman there who seems to have been attending for a few years, and she is completely dominating the whole class with attention seeking behaviour. I'm finding her fucking annoying.

I'm talking things like deciding midway through a routine/music track that she doesn't 'get' a certain part of it, so stopping in a mood, and then the instructor turns off the music halfway through the rest of us doing a routine to explain the bit she doesn't understand, then we all have to stand around for 5 minutes and start that routine/track again.

She also insists on standing in the same place each week and kicks off if anyone stands in her spot.

Last night she decided halfway through the class that she was 'tired and achy' so just laid down on the floor in her 'spot' for the rest of the class, doing the occasional leg stretch, whilst the rest of us had to carry on around her. She has a few fans/fawners in the class and they were all giggling and smiling indulgently whilst the rest of us were

I also worked with a woman for several years who totally dominated the office with her loud, messy, bossy behaviour, treating it like it was her own home. I'm talking things like bringing a duvet in from home to wrap round her if she got cold, cooking slimming world lunches in the tiny kitchen and leaving mess everywhere, running a MLM business from her desk. I could go on and on!

Yep, I work with someone like this. I completely ignore her twatty attention seeking behaviour, and I can tell she doesn't like it.

She also constantly posts these cryptic nonsense meme's on SM for the "U ok hun?" and replies "PM me, it's private".

Is this a class you pay for? If so, next time she does it I'd say, very loudly, to the instructor "This is out of line. I don't pay £xxx to stand around twiddling my thumbs like this. Is there a beginners class x could go to as she frequently finds this one too difficult?"

Is there a beginners class x could go to as she frequently finds this one too difficult?

^^ please say this and report back - genius

I do not advise saying what @EileenAlanna suggests in front of the rest of the class, however tempting it will be. The instructor will dislike being put on the spot by a bolshy “I’m not paying for this...” type, she will dislike it, her cling ons will dislike it.

Perhaps have a word in private with him?

Yes, I find people like this incredibly difficult too.

I worked with one in my last job and we were not a great combination! Her particular favourite way of seeking attention was to say things on purpose that she knew would offend/wind up other people in the office. I came from a different part of the country to everyone else in the office, so she would randomly say offensive things about my home region to try to start an argument. And when she found out one of my colleagues went to church every Sunday she suddenly started making deliberately inflammatory remarks about religious people and their 'imaginary friends' etc.

She also got incredibly annoyed about any conversation that was not of direct interest to her. For example, she didn't like football so if I had a quiet 60 second conversation about my team with the bloke who sat next to me, she would start huffing and puffing and flouncing around and making comments about 'conversations that excluded others' as if she had to be involved in every single conversation that everyone else ever had with someone.

She also used to get absolutely hammered at any work night out, drinking a bottle of wine to herself in half an hour without food or anything, and then everyone else would have fuss round her, look after her, call taxis/her husband for her, etc.

Basically, if everyone's attention wasn't on her all the time and everything didn't revolve around her, she wasn't happy, and she would rather have had negative attention than no attention (which is something I always find really childish, like a toddler who does something naughty to get people to look at them ... and this was a woman in her 50s).

Urgh I work alongside one of these. Lets off raucous laughs at the absolute smallest of things. It is really fucking grating on me.

She also gets really angry about everything.

Also, she will say "villanelle, come here and have a look at this" So I have to stop what I am doing and move to her desk to see something fucking menial. She does it to everyone.

I am missing out on a good work night out tonight because she is going and I find her mentally draining, even more so when she has had a drink.

She also loves to give scientific dietary advice since I started my diet (and lost 1 stone and counting) despite being overweight

Yep. My last manager. Overbearing, loud and had to dominate every conversation. He would just talk and talk. Loved talking about himself but would never ask anything about anyone else. Loved spouting opinions about other people and complaining how useless they were. When I first joined the team I’d go along to drinks to make effort but soon stopped after it became clear we’d just be sitting in a circle in the pub listening to him talking. He was a really poor manager and leader even though he desperately wanted to be seen as a people person. Would never want to work for anyone like that again.

Obviously those examples you posted are going to grate on people, but I'm not sure I generally find "dominant" people annoying.

The examples you gave were all women, do you find this annoying in men too?

Yep i tend to steer clear of these kinds of people. My SIL is a case in point. I love her, we'd never be friends if not linked by marriage, but fuck me if every dinner with the ILs is the SIL show. I've come to accept it, switch off and enjoy a bit of peace away from the limelight. It's exhausting. But i wonder if it's that i'm an introvert and she's clearly an extrovert so could just be our characters clashing. She probably finds me aloof and unforthcoming which may piss her off in equal measure.

Well I think I have the queen in my family. Not direct family, my uncle's partner.

Amongst the many things she did, the way we met her for the first time would be the perfect summary of her behaviour.

Christmas eve dinner. A few of my uncles, aunts are present. This uncle turn ask my mum is she can come while we were already sitting around the table, mid-meal... We're quite a relaxed family and open so naturally my mum accepted.

She turned up, my mum offered her some food. She only asked for vinegar and she litteraly 'ate' a plate (think about deep plate for soup) of vinegar with bread at a Christmas dinner...

I go to a diet group and one women is always interrupting the consultant to give her own opinion, etc. You can tell the consultant is annoyed but she can't really say anything. Yesterday she's been really rude telling off people because they have misspelled a name of a comic character! Even for me it was shocking!

I think I’m quite “dominant” in conversation (and try not to be), but this sounds more like attention seeking behaviour. I used to work with someone a LOT like you describe and found her ducking unbearble.

Odd that this is predominantly woman on woman.

I swear there's one of these in every exercise class I do.

My SIL loud mouthy gobshite, I’ve had NC with her for a number of years. She’s used to getting all the attention, so she couldn’t hack it when I’d ignore her.