Godfather duties

[Godfather90]

So I don’t know if this is in the right place but I’m after some honest advice. I’m a godfather to two kids (boy and girl) who I see quiet often and would like to take them to the cinema. I’m not sure whether to ask my friends (there parents) or if they’ll think it’s too much. As parents would this seem weird or a perfectly normal thing to do? Appreciate your advice.

I imagine they will be thrilled at being allowed a couple of hours of child free time!

Assuming you live locally, the children are comfortable in your company and you plan to take them to am age appropriate film then I can't see why it would be a problem

They will bite your hand off. It's a lovely idea. If they think that the kids are a bit unruly or hardwork just now one of them might offer to come. But they will be delighted u are taking an interest in their children not over stepping any boundary at all. They chose u to be Godfather for a reason. Have a lovely time.

I really wasn’t sure whether it was too much to ask them. I do live locally and they love it when I go and see them so I think they’re both comfortable with me. I think I’ll ask the parents and see what they say.

@Halo1234 @Shagged So I asked them and they said no. Not sure why unless they’re just going to think about it.

Hmm...how old are the dc? One of mine is still little and hates the cinema

Did they day anything other than "no"

One of my kids hates the cinema. Maybe more to it, don’t be disheartened

@Godfather90 that’s sad to hear! Did they just say no? No explanation?

Can't believe they said no. Perfectly normal request

One is 7 and been to the cinema a few times with her parents and the other is 4 and never been before so I get they might want to take him first. I didn’t ask if I could take them on a certain day or time, it was a general question of would I be allowed to take them (either both together or at separate times).

@IfIKnewThenWhatIKnowNow They didn’t really have an answer as to why not, I think it might of been a surprise to them that I asked to go somewhere without them being there. They might change there mind.

My 4 year old wouldn’t be great at the cinema - pitiful attention span still and sensitive to the oddest things, so if a friend offered to take him I might worry that they’d be up and down from their seats, and that it would spoil the occasion for other people.

If you still want to take them somewhere, if you’re not too knocked back by the rejection that is!, perhaps reiterate that you’d love to treat them individually or separately to a trip out, and ask if another activity would be more suitable. My DS would love a soft play visit and/or a chance to eat pizza or fish and chips out.

You sound really good and kind. Sometimes parents worry if their children will behave, or maybe they're not used to going out without a parent. It doesn't reflect on you. Ask again in a few months.

Thanks for all your thoughts. Not being a parent myself it’s hard to know when I’m over stepping boundaries, I’ve probably done it a few times and not realised it. I literally made this account to get advice as I didn’t know whether to ask them or not.

@CheeryB The bond that I’ve got with my goddaughter is something I never imagined I would have seven years ago when I was asked to be her godfather, she always wants to talk to me about school and ask me questions about all kinds of things. They both have a special place in my heart. I’ll definitely try asking there parents again

It's a difficult one. You obviously have a great relationship with them, but it's entirely different getting in with them with parents present to actually having them on your own..... My Dd has a godfather who has no kids of his own and I would probably find it odd if he wanted to take her out on his own, whereas my ds has a godmother with two similarly aged kids and I wouldn't think twice about that. Maybe wait until they ask you rather than the other way around, or tackle it head on. You could say that you didn't mean to make them feel awkward but you are in uncharted territory and wasn't sure if as godparent you should be taking them out etc. It may open the conversation to see if they want you more involved or not in future.

Have you taken them anywhere on your own before?
Might be best to start with a local park or soft play first?

@Redwinstillfine I can totally see where you’re coming from, but they’re fine letting me look after them in there house on my own while they’re out shopping for a little while and I’ve picked my goddaughter up from a kids club and brought her home so they do have some trust in me.

Taking two children to the cinema on your own is not as easy as you think - especially if one needs the loo in the middle of the movie - cue other child very grumpy about having to miss part of the movie so little sister can go to the toilet.

Constantly wriggling (my dd is 6 and cannot sit still through a movie) is hard work too. Maybe try bowling or something if you're looking for a treat!