Special Educational Needs Register

[Charlieandthechocolatecake]

My gorgeous 7 year old who has the most perfect manners and is a steam train expert has just been put on the SEN register.

He has had problems at his school since he started in January last year year due to bullying.

Now he is on the SEND register. I don't know what my AIBU is. Sorry.

I don't even know why I mentioned bloody steam trains. The school have advised me that I need to pay for an autism test. Does the NHS not cover that? We can afford it but why doesn't the NHS cover that?

I love him, he's so lovely. I'm so sad.

Of course you are upset. You love your child dearly and this is new to you and upsetting. The school seem to be trying to help but may be out of their depth. The local authority will have autism specialist support teachers who could give the school advice - each authority calls then something different. Talk to the school about reaching out for advice and support. You DO NOT have to pay for an ASD assessment. Your GP can refer you to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services) who do the assessments. Under NHS guidelines they should see your son within 18 weeks of him being referred but you do have to nag and be in their case. The school can help by asking their speech and language support service to assess your son which will provide some background information. Encourage the school to use every outside agency they can. They don't have to know it all themselves but they should know where to go for help. Where in the country do you live? Good luck with everything.

I wouldn't pay for an autism assessment, but I would find an experienced OT and pay for a sensory assessment. We did this and it formed the structure of school support for two of our children.

Also, my children are lovely too. I know what you mean. My youngest has a very serious question mark over any form of education, such are his issues, but he's still amazing.

You are luckier than you know that the school are treating it as SEN rather than behaviour. That is key to supporting your son.

You won't have to pay for the assessment CAMHs usually conduct it. They are extremely slow though so it can be much quicker to pay privately. To get a private assessment you take the reports to an educational psychologist first who will compete an initial assessment and if they suspect ASC they will say this but they can't diagnose. You then send this report and anything else you have with a covering letter and ask to be referred to a private child and adolescent psychiatrist who can provide a diagnosis. I would find someone recommended. I did this about 10! Years ago and it cost about £800 then.

Be aware that if you need a statement for him then they sometimes won't recognise a private diagnosis. My DS didn't need that though and the school provided the support he needed on the basis of the private diagnosis.

CAMHS can literally take years to diagnose a child. My DS was 12 when we started the process so if we'd waited that long it would have been disastrous.

I handed all my evidence into CAMHS at the same time as going for a private diagnosis. When the diagnosis came through interestingly they offered my DS social skills group sessions on the basis of the private diagnosis.

You can get assessed on NHS but in our area and our previous area it was a 2 year wait.

School can provide the same support with a diagnosis as without though no need for them to wait for it. Its good they have flagged it though.

I have a 12 year old DS who is on the SN register and went on in year 2. He's really lovely and the most perfect child I could wish for. Its me with the steam train obsession though! The SN board is great for support and advice - we have a 'pub' thread there called The Goose and Carrot (summer) you are welcome to join.

Following

My Dd is 15 exceptionally talented and sounds exactly like your son is.Her primary school picked up on her asd at age 7 but I didn't want her to have "special needs" even though she had a diognoses of adhd(I was incredibly stupid and naieve).She's now 15 and only got diognosed when she was sectioned under the mental health act in year 6.I realise now that I was just being stupid and having an add diognoses doesn't change her at all.Its been a absolute god send having the diognoses and now understands in her words "what's wrong with her".She has now got so much support around her and is doing well.

P.s feel free to pm me x

Really best get to the SN Board - you have described my DS 10+years ago. I remember my shock that ds could act in an aggressive way, and further dumbfounded that the school could describe him and myself in the negative ways they did. At primary level this is not helpful and increases the behaviour.

It took a thick skin, many years, and complete life-changes to get him to the over-chilled-out chap he is now. Although I do miss that little dynamo he used to be. Not sure I'm being helpful but can only advise that you are the best judge, you know your ds best, and no one else can do that better than you.

@fedup21 I'm so new to this, I don't know why either, I'll book an appointment with our GP to find out further info. We don't have a problem with paying for it at all, but what about those that can't? They're children, it should be free!

@BackforGood could we go private? We can afford it but I'm not sure if a private diagnosis is official?

@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer thank you for your kind words. I can't stop staring at him. He is so kind and generous. He is truly a lovely chap. I'm very much obviously ignorant to special needs. It's only now that I see his obsession with steam trains may be a 'thing'. Fuck it. I'll support him in whatever he likes. My wonderful boy has been labelled. I don't know how to deal with it. Sorry.

You shouldn't have to pay for anything!

And it's not a label.

I think at least one trust in England (Surrey?) announced that they weren't going to take any new referrals for autism assessment.
If that's the case where you live then you may need to get a private assessment done. There's a standard that a private assessment needs to follow for it to be accepted by the NHS but I can't remember what it is.

@Nat6999 All I've been told is he's officially on the register. He has his own table in his class to help with his concentration (VERY easily distracted). Senco have been wonderful, I think, I don't know! He doesn't need help academically. We do our own homework after school every day. Today he done his 10 x tables test and got 20/20. My poor boy. Sorry, you just assume this happens to everyone else...

I have signed up to MN just to reply to this. Your child is on the school's SEN register and that should ensure that he begins to have extra support in itself. (You can ask for him to be removed but really there is no point.) It is really a list of children whose progress is being monitored by the SENDCo. Children on the register should have what's usually called an individual education plan. This is a list of targets that are individual to his needs and these are agreed at least termly between the class teacher, the SENCo and you the parent. They are reviewed regularly and new ones set.

If you want him to be assessed to see if he is on the autistic spectrum he needs to be referred for a paediatric assessment either by your G.P. or by the school. I do not understand why the school say that you have to pay for this. (Long waiting lists perhaps?) You should also ask for him to be assessed by the school's educational psychologist which will be necessary if you want to apply for an Education, Health & Care Plan {EHCP} in the future. An EHCP would give extra funding to the school to support him. To get an EHCP you need to request an assessment by the local authority SEN department. This is normally requested by the school however can also be requested by you as a parent. (You may be told that you can't but you can!)

From your description it sounds as though the school are not meeting your son's needs. There should be strategies in place to avoid him becoming frustrated or anxious and therefore disruptive. The image of an adult having to follow him around the school suggests that this has not happened.

I think that you should contact your local authority Independent Advice and Support Service. Although funded by the local authority they will support you and know your rights. They will attend meetings with you at school if you want them to and if necessary will hold the school to account. I would strongly advise you to contact them

@HerculesMulligan YES! DS has a now and next system so he's always aware of what is going to happen.

Narrow gauge you say? I will Google and tell my boy if this wonderful new information to research tomorrow! Thank you so much!

I know autistic children are very focused on one thing in particular. Would I be doing him a dis-service if stop it? I like to encourage his one passion. It's very much helped his reading capability (with all the bloody steam train books I buy) i'm certain in keeping Amazon in business.

No reason to stop him especially if you can use the interest to encourage learning. Old train timetables can help with all sorts of learning!
You wouldn't feel guilty if he was a neurotypical boy obsessed with football.

@Londonkeith thank you, he does receive extra help and his behaviour at school has definitely improved. I appreciate all the work the school are doing this year to support him. I couldn't fault them one bit.

I've tried contacting the head of Senco but she's been unavailable so far. It's only been a few days though.

I'm just struggling within myself as he is a completely different character at home so I don't know how we could further support him. He has love, structure and freedom at home. We are not regimental as parents but we do believe children progress better with extra homework to further support the school curriculum. My DS looks forward to it when he gets home from school. Maybe we are too set in our routine? I don't know what to change.

Again, I'll definitely speak to our GP regarding options however DP has private healthcare through work so I'll look into that too.

I feel so ignorant. He's obsessed with steam trains. I think I always knew he was in the spectrum.

Loads literally loads go on the sen register at school. In my class as a TA half the kids were On it and this was mainstream. You shouldn't have to pay for a test though, but you may have to wait a long time. The Senco should be doing a referral, lazy sod.

The Senco should be doing a referral, lazy sod.

As a SENCo, I take great offence at that!

In my LEA, SENCos can not make referrals for an Autism assessment, this must be made by a GP.

OP, go to the GP and discuss it with them. Which LEA are you in?

It’s likely the school meant a private assessment with regards to payment to bypass the waiting list.

As an aside, the 10 times table is a reception / early year 1 goal so I’d be concerned about the pace of tables if that’s for the whole class.

My ds is 15. Everyone comments about how he one of the nicest kindest people they've ever met. He's always called as someone to show off students for visitors in the school.

He also (although he hasn't for a year now 🤞) has been known to suddenly throw his back pack/table across a room, tell everyone in it to fuck off and then leave the room.

He's also an expert on steam trains!

Autism is a funny thing. It's nothing like the stereotypes you see. The behaviour comes from not understanding the request - not necessarily what they are being asked to do but why they have to do it. It can be extremely frustrating and sometimes that boils over.

Think of it like a bottle of Pepsi. The more times you shake it the more it fizzes up when it's opened.

Lots of the skills can be taught that don't come naturally and can be taught for each type of interaction and occasion. It's a journey that just takes longer for the neurodiverse.

You can get referred for asd assessment on the nhs. But the waiting list is long. If you can afford to pay then I would. Purely on the basis the school may only be able to get the la to provide better funding with a diagnosis (against sendcop but you can spend 1-2 years fighting the la until they comply!) and ultimate,y the sooner your ds gets the proper support the better things will be for him.

And my ds is always fine at home. Because there's no pressures for him to do things he can't do or understand. Home is usually the most low demand environment for most people.

IceCream - counting to 20 is a Reception goal, not times tables!

In my area the waiting list for an ASD assessment is now 2.5 years, if you can afford to pay privately it’s certainly worthwhile (we did).