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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour bashing on window

67 replies

PumpkinP · 18/09/2019 23:11

I live in a gf maisonette. I’ve lived here for 3 years and never had any trouble. I have a child with autism who has significant night time needs and gets hrc for this. A few months ago a man and woman moved in above.

The first I knew was him screaming out the window telling me about my daughter crying at night. He was very aggressive ranted about paying rent and not being council, whatever that had to do with anything. I just told him fair enough and went in. Nothing from him again but made a conscious effort to try to keep the noise down. Roll on to tonight my daughter is upstairs in bed but is struggling to settle, she’s chatting and I’m trying to get her to sleep. Bed time has always been difficult. I’m standing in her room and hear a bang on the window. I Was abit confused and thought I must be imagining it. Then again another bang, I look out to see the upstairs neighbour is bashing a broom against my window from his window above. Literally wtf, I was so shocked I’ve come down stairs with dd who is equally scared. I don’t know what to do? I’m honestly shaking. For context I think the man has some kind of anger issues as I regularly hear arguments between him and his partner.

OP posts:

Original poster

PumpkinP · 18/09/2019 23:51

Thanks SummerWhisper my daughter is terrified now and refusing to go back upstairs, surprised people can justify it!

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PaulHollywoodsleftbollockhair · 18/09/2019 23:54

I would challenge him directly and tell him you have a child with autism who was frightened by his behaviour tonight. Let him know you regularly tolerate unacceptable noise from his flat and that if there is anymore of his aggression you will involve the police.

LittleMy20 · 18/09/2019 23:57

Call the police it’s harrasmrnt.

LittleMy20 · 18/09/2019 23:58

Contact your children’s services too- if this gets worst they must move you. You should not have to tolerate this.

chickenyhead · 19/09/2019 00:06

Outrageous

He could have broken the window in a child's bedroom. What ever happened to having a reasonable chat with neighbours rather than resorting to default aggression. Do not excuse his behaviour, he is a disgusting bully.

I would be tempted to video any further acts on your phone too.

I hope that your daughter is ok soon xxx

Original poster

PumpkinP · 19/09/2019 00:09

Hope it’s doesn’t get worse I don’t think I can even sleep now. Called 101 but they said they are going to pass it to my local safer neighbourhood team which feels abit like I was fobbed off I mean will they actually visit him? Definitely calling the council and seeing if I can call his landlord in the morning. I’ve tried to ask my daughter if this is the first time this has happened but she hasn’t been able to tell me.

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hittheroadjack1 · 19/09/2019 00:10

Open it and steal his broom.

I hope you and your dd are ok.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 19/09/2019 00:14

Personally I’d call them back and tell them your dd can’t sleep because of the asshole with a broom.

If someone was bashing on my bedroom window this time of night I’d see it as a blatant act of aggression and intimidation and want them dealt with now- not a fecking email to someone who’ll put it on their to do list.

AdoraBell · 19/09/2019 00:20

Definitely report to the police. And if DD doesn’t settle for the next couple of nights, or he repeats this I would tell your GP, or whoever is best for her support.

Original poster

PumpkinP · 19/09/2019 00:29

How on earth do I find out who the LL is?? Looking on land registry. Is it title resister? Still so fuming that someone can act like that and think it’s normal. I don’t want him to get away with scaring my child like that

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Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 19/09/2019 00:30

I would feel fobbed off by 101 too in your position. Definitely call the police. I think your neighbour’s reaction is deplorable. Hope you are able to get your DD (and yourself) settled tonight

Original poster

PumpkinP · 19/09/2019 00:30

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Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 19/09/2019 00:38

I think you’re on right track re Land Registry, but it seems you’ll have to pay £3 to find out ( I looked here eservices.landregistry.gov.uk/eservices/FindAProperty/view/QuickEnquiryInit.do). Maybe someone else on Mumsnet can better advise....

BanKittenHeels · 19/09/2019 00:40

You might be able to find the old listing for their flat on Rightmove if you google your postcode.

EmeraldShamrock · 19/09/2019 00:44

Bloody hell OP he is a nutter.
Please do not challenge him. I think do call the police but at the same time I'd be worried about his behaviour after the police visit him, some people dont give a fuck about authority.
Definitely report him but be on your guard, I am not trying to scare you.
Goodluck it is awful how neighbours can ruin your home life.

EmeraldShamrock · 19/09/2019 00:47

Contact your local council to check if it is tenant registered, some parts of England need to register tenants.
If you are in Scotland NI or Wales it should be registered.

Original poster

PumpkinP · 19/09/2019 00:55

I’m still awake, looks like a night on the sofa for me and dd as couldn’t get her back upstairs. We are in London. Im worried how he will act aswell as he seems unhinged.

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TheTeenageYears · 19/09/2019 01:20

Do you know if they rent through an agent? If so you could approach the agents and explain your circumstances for them to pass on. It will let the agents and potentially the landlord know of the tenants behaviour but also make the tenants aware of your situation. Hopefully knowing it’s not just someone allowing their child to scream the place down regularly and for no reason will make the tenants think and act differently- preferably with a bit of understanding.

EmeraldShamrock · 19/09/2019 02:06

There needs to be harsher laws and action against antisocial neighbours.
Don't worry OP lock the place up well, go to the local police station tomorrow tell them you dont want them to call you but to note it as intimation, tell them you need a quick response if he kicks off.
I'd let this go as far as he thinks, keep a diary, he sounds like an absolute arsehole.
If he does it again, shout back at him then ring the police, he is a bully.

PatricksRum · 19/09/2019 02:37

OP call 999.
I had an unhinged neighbour like this too, banging on my door because my hair straighteners were keeping him up
He then was trying to swing for me.
Not 101, 999 definitely.

Sausageandpicklesandwiches · 19/09/2019 05:55

The register on Land Regi will tell you who owns the property. It might have several options, probably obviously but you want the freehold.

Hope you got some sleep.

Original poster

PumpkinP · 19/09/2019 10:07

Thanks everyone, we stayed on the sofa and it will probably be the same again tonight as she was still upset this morning. I called the council who said they would write to him. I’m just worried that this is going to escalate, I’ve found out who the landlord is, do I write to them or just leave it now? The thing is they are loud themselves they must think I don’t hear them, I hear them talking, every foot step I hear their baby cry, them arguing, I hear them hoovering etc I just think the sound proofing is very poor in the flats.

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chickenyhead · 19/09/2019 10:24

Definitely write to the landlord.

He might think twice if it could actually affect him, a letter from the council is unlikely to.

Neron · 19/09/2019 10:36

I feel for you OP, and agree that his behaviour most definately is not acceptable. It's not fair you're now feeling as you do, and it's not your fault.

That said, I do see his frustration, which I feel this ultimately is. I live in a new build, the lack of insulation means I too hear everything. It's been hell. Secondly, in my second job I work with those who have severe physical and learning difficulties - when they are in the midst of it, they are exceptionally loud and they don't understand reasoning. In your case this is happening at night and it's keeping them awake too. I suspect his private comment was him trying to say (meanly) that he needs to sleep because he has to go to work, and implying you don't have to?

Original poster

PumpkinP · 19/09/2019 10:58

Yes he did mention working aswell, I’m at home as a carer but I find it weird as for someone that works he is always in and there car is always there so I’m guessing he works from home. The issue is with the poor sound proofing of the flats. Unfortunately my council only allows people in flats to bid on flats so I was only allowed a flat.

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