AIBU to not like surprises

[rosepetal321]

Setting up a first date with a guy who I’ve been chatting to on-line for a bit and he seems really nice - we have arranged the town to meet in and he’s asked what things I don’t like doing, but he says he likes to keep date options a surprise. I’m not great with surprises normally - I just like to prepare myself for what I’m doing, but as we’ve never met before I’m a bit panicked at the thought of it being a surprise! I don’t want to offend him though or come across as stand-offish...AIBU to try to delicately suggest it would be nice to know what he wanted to do, or should I just man-up and go with the flow?

Tell him straight. A simple 'thanks very much for wanting to make the date special but I really don't like surprises so would much prefer to know our plans'.

Either he gets to know an important thing about you or he gets offended, in which case he's not much of a match for you. Would be my take on it, anyway.

I love surprises but I wouldn’t be up for one from/with someone I’d never met. No way. If you’re already feeling uncomfortable then trust your gut. He should want you to be happy and actively willing to plan something together. Tell him you don’t want a surprise date and maybe suggest something you know you’d enjoy and feel comfortable doing and see if he fancies it. Don’t start out putting your needs and wishes aside to make this relative stranger think you’re someone you’re not.

Umm wouldn’t you want to tell someone where you’re going on a first date with someone you’ve never met? Safety and all that.

Yup I hate surprises, mostly because I don't want to have to hide my disappointment if I don't like the surprise.

Thank you all, and yes I think a lot of the slight panic is around the fact I haven’t met him, so just want to have an idea what I’m getting into plus personal safety of course!

It'll be indoor crazy golf. They think they're so imaginative 🙄

Regardless of that though, I would loathe a man trying to set up this uneven power dynamic before you've even met him. In your shoes I'd cancel.

I really don't like surprises and I would decline a first date where there was a 'surprise' element.

I did think about the uneven power aspect...but I guess I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s trying to go to effort and do a nice thing.

Tell him what you don't like doing and also that the thought of surprises worries you a bit. Don't go anywhere with him in his car.

Yes, defo about the car thing!

Nah fuck that, tell him you would prefer to know. I'd be worried it was something I really wouldn't want to do and that I'd end up looking like a tit.

Also that you want to tell you friends where you are for safety.

Tell him meeting him for the first time will be enough of a surprise for a first date!