I've had lots of issues with my eldest daughter since she was about 14 and I've always put it down to normal teenage issues but recently things have come to a head when she turned down her much coveted uni place to work as a junior in the hairdressers where she's had a Saturday job for years. I've been re-examing her behaviour and starting to suspect there's more going on and she's possibly on the ASD spectrum. She's noise sensitive and had private therapy for misophonia but it's not helped much. in the 2 years of A levels we had to creep around for fear of disturbing her causing her to have meltdowns. She's never kept friends for more than a year. Her last best friend she broke up with for many reasons but the one which stood out was because she made a noise with her mouth a lot. She's obsessed with the way she looks and what people might think of her (I know this isn't that unusual but one of her reasons for not giving to uni was the ongoing rash on her hands and that she wouldn't be able to leave her room if it was bad) Any issues I try and talk to her about she gets upset, shouts or storms off. We've had a big issue with her paying rent now she's working almost full time. (£100 a month + the £40 I pay for her phone)
Anyway the AIBU bit is I tried to talk to her about the ASD and she went crazy and now is rude to me all the time instead of just some of the time. I really wish I hadn't brought it up and wondering if she is right and I am crazy (she tells me this a lot when I try and talk about problems) and utterly hate myself. I really have tried to support her, she's also had anxiety counciling and £1000's spent in private tutors as she missed so much time off school during her A levels (after falling out with her best friend who she felt turned all the other girls against her). Really the whole family has been affected and I feel broken. And drugs and alcohol are also now involved.